The Benefits of Being a Stay-at-Home Mama That No One Talks About
There is a calling for a Stay-At-Home Mama (SAHM) that often goes unspoken. A calling that has allowed you, Mama, to be able to stay at home and care for the children, while being a wife, and finding the time to care for yourself through it all. This calling is magical to many, but as believers, we call it fate, purpose, and a blessing. If you have yet experienced this heartfelt moment through tantrums, talk back, disrespect from both children and husband, hardships, emotional roller coasters, mental health, identity crises, meal prepping or scrambling last minute items to cook because you forgot to defrost the meat for dinner, then Mama, I am going to remind you the benefits of being a SAHM when you feel like you’re on the verge of quitting and returning to work.
1. Random Trips & Travel on your terms
Okay, since I live far from family, in the years when my sisters and I all decided to have babies, traveling was a must; I had to do it whenever I could, given my husband’s work schedule. Because his days off varied, especially after the holidays, since his work didn’t allow holidays off, traveling with my family usually came around when everyone was in school and working. For now, it has been the best experience due to zero traffic when we were on the go, but it has nonetheless been a breeze to just go to places when we wanted, without any obligations or work, and to try to excuse our children from school.
If your family loves to travel or plan small day trips, then homeschooling is your best route. And I promise you, based on my experience as a one-income household, traveling is possible for all of you. There are so many budget-friendly ways to pack and meal prep for your trip, and it could also just mean putting on a simple thinking cap and making the most of what you have and what you must do to make it happen. (I don’t mean go broke, but to be resourceful and creative!) In the end, the trip will be worth it!
2. Building Healthy Relationships With Your Children & Husband
My stance may be biased since I have not yet returned to work, but from my experience as a witness to many SAHMs and working mothers, it is a topic we all discuss when deciding whether to return to work or raise children at home. This topic is your role in the home and how it affects your relationship with both your children and spouse.
Mothers who need to return to work feel pressured by finances, modern society, and possibly their spouse, that they are told that the natural feelings of guilt (which is a mothers natural caregiving instinct when leaving their babies) is something that should be ignored rather than finding healthy solutions and coping mechanisms to make the decision easier than what has been expected of them. That feeling of guilt is a healthy sign that you have an attachment to your child and that your bond from the time you had with them is still strong.
Now, I know it might not be possible for every mother because of whatever situation you might be facing in the meantime, but I also know that if you are given the chance to stay home, you should consider the perks and possibilities you can have with your family. Such as;
Being There: Being there for the needs of your family and having those needed moments between you and your child or husband, without the stress of work life on your mind or taking your time.
Seeing Your Childs Interest & Needs and Meeting Them: From just the experiences that I have had in the last few months alone, I have been the parent at the park that pre-teens and children feel comfortable in sharing their daily struggles in school or in their home, or even the ear to hear them talk about their interest and dreams but followed by their words I also hear them complain about the reality in which they aware of on how they know life will play out for them regardless because of the structure of the home.
Now again, some parents have to work, and divorce is a thing, bullying has never fully ended, and parents are far too busy and exhausted to keep up with every detail of their child’s life because they prioritize what is needed, which is working to take care of bills, groceries, clothes, and to keep a roof over their children’s head. It’s pretty sad hearing from the outside in, but it only confirmed why it is important to take this opportunity to stay home with my children more seriously and to thank God along the way for being able to.
Being Home allows you to see your children’s academic interests and challenges when they appear. It allows you to guide them toward the fullness of knowledge and experience, if you can, in what interests them, and to help them pursue that path. You are also able to minimize the exposure to sin that is easily accessible in our youth today. (This is not to say you can stop everything from being exposed, but you can minimize it for a longer duration of time, or be the parent to talk to your children first and teach them correctly before the world tries to deceive their minds with lies.)
But being at home can give you awareness and discernment of your children, which in turn allows you to pray and meet them where they are. It allows your child to be heard and personally pushed beyond limits into great potential then from what the public schools can provide, (and this is from my experience in the teaching fields, having family, friends, and peers who have served the education system for years that have all mentioned the dramatic negative changes and impacts that are occurring in the newer generation of children. Where even the basics cannot be taught due to distractions from other students. Where they cannot personally meet children’s needs because the teachers are overburdened with trying to keep everyone safe, and just keep up with state score policies. “At this point, middle schoolers cannot read basic words nor write sentences, and it feels like were just babysitters!” -Unknown)
The main needs of growing children cannot be met in schools today; they can only be met at home, where they can receive full attention from their parents, co-op homeschool communities, or tutors.
Don’t get me wrong, you cannot be a hawk over your children, because they do need their space, but they need your awareness and guidance for what God has revealed to you over their lives.
A stronger relationship with your husband: is also a highlight in your journey as a SAHM! During the day, as you manage the home, you can find ways to serve your husband more, reducing the stress on his plate. Now Mama, I’m not telling you to take over every duty for your husband, but if you can do the basics of folding his laundry and putting it away, making sure he has a meal ready when he wakes up and comes homes (potentially even a packed lunch if that is an option), making sure that he comes home to a clean home so that he feels more comfortable, allowing yourself to have your “me time” in such a way that it can serve him (if you know what I mean!), then I promise this could really help your relationship in the process of staying home.
I know there might be times when you don’t feel like serving and just want to be served yourself. I know that there might be times when you feel resentful towards your husbands job and choices, or even financially the way things are done in your home, but when you submit to God and do things onto God, in love just as God has done for you and continues to do for you, then serving your husband in this season will bring more joy.
3. Friends & Family
One thing I have noticed in my years of staying home is the many opportunities I have had to make new friends and serve friends and family along the way. With my husband’s work schedule and my lack of one, traveling to visit friends and family has become a mission for our family that we take seriously. It is an opportunity for us to make a day trip to serve the elderly in our family and address their pressing needs, which have been waiting for someone to address. It has also been a time to testify with everyone about what God has been doing in our lives and be led in the Spirit to speak life and pray over those whom we encounter.
It is also fun when you raise children with friends and family because there are many moments when you might feel alone in the house while your kids are busy, but being able to make a phone call and hang out with them is beneficial in maintaining relationships rather than being too busy for them. (And yes, you can become busy as a SAHM, but because you create the flow in your home and schedules, you can also create time to reach out to your loved ones and serve them too! This action shows your children that you are serving others and reaching out to family and friends, demonstrating God’s love for serving others and for maintaining healthy relationships.
4. Devotion To Serving
As I mentioned before, being able to stay at home does not mean you have to be there all the time. Your mission is wherever you are, and although your first ministry is at home, you can have missions wherever your feet are. That includes where you are called to be in your day-to-day schedule. Anywhere you are during the day, you can serve someone. From sharing the Gospel to praying, supplying food, writing letters, and more! You have been blessed with your children to serve others!
5. You Make Your Own Schedule
I am by far a mama who loves to make a schedule. I have always been that way since I was a child, and it has only increased and has become more beneficial as a SAHM than ever! Now, if I am honest, I had to learn with toddlers that although a schedule can be healthy, a strict schedule only allows the home to become filled with anxiety, which is not at all beneficial, healthy, nor serves the home. So when you make your schedule that best suits you and your family, understand that life happens along the way, and you cannot predict or schedule random diaper blowouts, tantrums, sick days, or any curveballs that might disrupt your flow. The only thing you can do is be in the moment and handle each task and situation accordingly. I would also suggest you do the opposite of my newborn stage tips, which were to have a detailed schedule and be on time. Raising toddlers with their own everyday experiences can take up time, so I suggest you write down an estimated time frame for your day-to-day.
Every day doesn’t have to look the same, and you might take random trips or run errands, especially on your husband’s days off from work. That is okay, but the point of making a schedule is to recognize that there isn’t really a stressor that needs to be emphasized on your end, since you are the one in charge of the day-to-day schedule. You get to decide when to take your breaks and when to eat. You can choose the time that you run your errands
This kind of power that is given to you is meant to help you, not stress you, until you’re in a burnout rut. You get to make decisions that help you and your family in their current season. Knowing that you have this leverage should be very exciting and feel rewarding. You don’t have to have a busy schedule to feel successful as a parent and lose the joy of the experience. You don’t need to feel rushed and pressured to have your children take on everything that is going on just so that they can be included and have “these experiences” that are “needed”. It is far better to keep life simple and stress-free than to be on the go, go, go in the nick of time, without even recovering from the previous things with rest and quietness.
Mama, take this time to reevaluate what is important and create a simple schedule that brings peace to your home, not chaos. And do not forget to schedule some time alone for yourself as well. You make time for what really matters, and your health is one of them. Create time to be with God and be filled up in His presence and Word. Make time to learn something new or to focus on your hobbies. You factor in everyone else’s needs, but do not forget to factor in yourself as well. This is the blessing of staying home with your children. You evolve into a new you that you never knew existed. You learn new things every day, and you can see yourself grow with your children along the way!
Again, make that schedule! You have more control over your home and life than you think! If you are nervous about messing up, just remember that God will always keep you on the path aligned to His will for you and your family. He will reveal His plans to you. So have that time to listen and start creating!
6. Hobbies
You know those books that has collected dust on your shelf or the sports equipment that are in your closet that you look at with a sigh of hope or maybe disappointment that you feel like one day you might be willing to pullout and use but you know its not today, so you close your closet door and go through the same process tomorrow or the day after to the point you might even get annoyed. Well, please stop! Stop treating your “old hobbies” as if they are old hobbies and use that same schedule to make time for yourself to enjoy the desires God has placed on your heart. If that is journaling, singing, reading books, hanging with friends, playing games, or whatever the case may be, then make time for it.
To have time for myself and pursue my hobbies, I manage my time accordingly. I wake up around 5:30/6 am to have time with God. Then, in the last 30 minutes before my children wake up, I exercise and read a book. Then, when my children are put to bed from 7-7:30 pm, I use those hours for myself (especially if my husband is at work) to pamper myself (including hygienically), write letters, and manage my website, because that is what I love to do. Unless it’s Sunday, I need to plan my lessons for the week. But nonetheless, I try to make time when I can to take care of myself and the desires that were placed in my heart. Thankfully, God has been waking me up without an alarm clock, giving me that time alone with him before everyone wakes up in the home.
So, mama, however it may look to you, ask God to help you schedule time for yourself to partake in the hobbies He has given you, and He will make it happen! Just use this season at home to do the things you enjoy, and every now and then, let your children be part of the hobbies you enjoy!
7. Learning Something New
Trust me, you may not think you have time to learn anything new while raising your children, supporting your husband, and managing the home, but on this journey, you will have no choice but to learn! Is that not exciting!?! For me, I love learning new things and have a heart that just wants to know more, and now I can learn with my children as we both grow on our journey through toddlerhood together! I say that to say, because my toddlers ask MANY questions every day that I have not even thought about, it has allowed me to research and find the right answers, which has made it a fun fact game that we now play with others, because we feel like they need to know who created the first dominos pizza and where! But because I am choosing to go the homeschool route with them, there will be so much learning along the way, and I am excited about it. Especially when we start to learn instruments and different languages, etc. So, mama, enjoy this season and learn to love learning something new!
8. Spiritual Walk
Deeper Relationship With God
One of the biggest perks of staying at home is that your walk with God is just… I don’t have the words to explain. Now there are so many women who work, have a deep relationship with God, and can raise a family, and that is amazing for them, but this is for you who are contemplating whether you want to make that leap or continue in your journey as a SAHM. When you don’t feel rushed in a busy schedule, whether you are home or out and about, just taking in the moments with your family, your perspective on life starts to shift from what was important to what actually is. You have these moments where you’re looking at your children growing up with such purity, and you have nothing but a heart to wonder their thoughts and think about their future, so much so that you find yourself praying for so much around you. You may even then get to slow down and process what God is doing in your life, and hear God differently, in a voice where you are aware and attentive, and have a desire to seek Him in ways you have not before. This is the time when you can dive deep into alone time and bible studies. Where you can have fun, be in tune with the Spirit of God, and just live the life that He has called you to live. Trust me, once you get a taste of what He has done and continues to do, and once you have those intimate moments with Him and you’re in your fire era, you’re going to want more and more. And because you have that fire activated, that presence is extremely heavy in your home. As your life shifts into transformation, you will see your whole family dynamics take a turn and transform as well. Your serving hood changes when you make it about God, not about you. This journey so far has been the best journey that I pray you get to have in your season as a SAHM. (And this is not to say everything will be bliss with butterflies minute by minute, but this is to say that this is the time of your life to be authentically you. To be transformed into the daughter God called you to be, and embrace the relationship that He has given you the opportunity to have with Him, in the most beautiful way. This is the season where you learn how to be a mother, but you also learn how you are a daughter growing alongside the child that He has given you!)
Prayer Warrior
When you are blessed to be a SAHM, you are also blessed to stay home and grow in your prayer life, unlike people who are often too busy with work and home life. I’m not saying that mothers who go to work aren’t prayer warriors, but I am saying that you have the privilege of being devoted to prayer all day, in your home and wherever you go. Yes, you may have a lot on your plate at home, such as chores, cooking, tending to children, taking care of your husband, and, if you have any, animals. This does not even include yourself, BUT it could if you choose to include God in your day by praying, I mean praying in such a way where the conversation never stops. That through the MANY tasks that you take on, you can speak to Him through it all. That is the blessing of being in your home or environment, rather than in an easily distracted, fast-paced world that works nonstop. (Again, this is not against any mother who chooses to go and chase her dream in career paths; this is for the mother who is contemplating and wants encouragement to see the benefits of being a SAHM.)
Authority Over Family Through Spiritual Warfare
Discipleship
There is this saying that I read in “Parenting Against The Current.” That says in context. “ It is rather you teach your children, or the world teaches your children.”
You can either be the one to disciple your child by guiding them through the Word of God, or have the world teach them behind your back, leading your children astray. Either decision is a big decision for you and your family. Exposure to ongoing spiritual warfare along the way affects many generations that follow. That is why it is a beautiful blessing to be able to stay at home with your children and disciple them. If you cannot homeschool them all the way through to their senior graduation, I encourage you to at least try the early years, up to first grade. The more you can pour out your love for God and speak life and truth in their growing minds that are sponges, the more they are able to hang on to the truth of the Word that has been spoken over them daily and established in them, rather then sending them to daycare and school with unbelievers who spend most of your child’s waking hours speaking deception over and to them. (I know that sounds harsh, but unbelievers are unbelievers who believe in other things that do not glorify God. And their beliefs are their lifestyle that is with your child for eight hours of the day. And you, as a parent, would never know what is said and done in the classroom. Even by other students who have different home backgrounds. Yes, your child could be the light in the classroom if your home has His presence resting on it and has that lifestyle shown, but children are easy to manipulate, and these vulnerable years shouldn’t be taken lightly when protecting their purity. This is the time to dive deep and have authority over your home and your children.
I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.
Luke 10:19
Confirming One’s Calling and Election
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
2 Peter 1:3
9. Missions Amongst Others Who Are Chosen
I used to think that I had to travel around the world to spread the Good News, but that was not the case for me, nor for you! Your mission is where your feet are. You have a mission in your home. That is your first home-based ministry, but thankfully, you are not limited. Because you have the opportunity to wake up early and devote time to God, as well as create time to be with Him throughout the day and night, you also have the chance to be used by Him and spread the Gospel where the Holy Spirit leads you.
For instance, I have a detailed schedule for my family that outlines what each day looks like, with a 30-minute leeway if we go under or over the allotted time frame for a particular activity. However, I also learned how to be open with my schedule. So, if time does go by and we are off schedule (because again, life can’t be scheduled: tantrums, blowout diapers while walking out the door, etc.), I learn to go with it. If I am at the park and feel led to talk to someone, I ensure that the situation is safe first and foremost. Then I give my cubs their snacks and water in the wagon, which provides me with time to converse or pray for the person I am led to.
Honestly, because I believe I am used everywhere I go, I make it a habit to keep attending all the playgroups, library days, and community events, knowing there is always someone to talk to about God or to pray with. (Just so I make it clear, any errand that I make, even if it’s not scheduled, is still an errand that has a divine encounter ready for me just to show up and do whatever the Holy Spirit does through me.)
Never think that becoming a mother stopped you from ministry beyond your doors. What your children witness is you showing them what it is like to be a child of God, loving and sharing the Good News with everyone that you encounter. This is discipleship in action.
This is also a good season or season’s of your life to enjoy fellowship with other SAHMs and sharpen one another in the journey that y’all are both living. These mothers, who have also been chosen, are your village and will be a great source to help you grow in faith, keep you accountable, and offer you the right advice, all accompanied by genuine prayers. I advise you to keep this village close! Discern the fruits, but if the tree bears good fruit, then keep them close!
“Motherhood is your Ministry”
-my husband’s words since 2021.’
10. Changed Life
Yes, we can all aspire to have a career one day, and possibly even while being a stay-at-home mother. Still, please do not let the pressure of a lifestyle and finances to keep up, and a society that pushes women to pursue careers in one direction, dictate your choices. This is not to take away from the opportunities and the mothers who choose to have it all with their careers, but I say this to motivate you and encourage you not to feel ashamed or guilty for choosing to put your family first in these formative years. It doesn’t mean you are neglecting your dreams and visions; it means, “I’m in a period of my life where I am meant to serve and minister my family in this short season while I get a chance to.” Because let’s be honest, the days seem LONG, but the season is short in the early years before your children leave the house.
I know this was a lot of information to take in, but let me summarize it for you. Becoming or continuing to be a Stay- at- Home- Mama is by far the biggest blessing that you could ever experience, and what you gain from such an opportunity is far beyond what you may feel like you would miss out on. The growth that you endure in those blessed seasons is growth that you may not experience in its depth anywhere else. I just pray that you would highly consider this position in prayer and say yes to God’s plan for you if given the chance.
Shalam
making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.
Ephesians 5:16
