The Dangers of Sexual Immorality: {Lust, Porn, Masturbation}
What I wished I knew was the weight that sin could carry over my life through masturbation, porn, and lust. I was 5 years old when I was exposed to not only a male’s private part (a family friend’s son who was 6 years old) but porn too. As for the boy who exposed himself, I remember he took me to a closet to hide and just told me to look and guided my hand to touch. I was confused but did what he told me. It was one touch but led to a few more encounters with him, trying to get me alone for what I can only assume now: more action. It took one time for my parents to catch us hiding (full clothes and not doing anything for them to call an end to our friendship). I assume they knew something was off and listened to their gut parental instincts. As for the porn that came later, I did not know precisely what they were doing, but I did know that the video that was revealed to me was wrong. No one had to tell me it was terrible; I just felt like if I got caught watching it, I would be in trouble. Though I thought it was awful, it did not stop my curiosity from looking through the back channels late at night to see if I would find more and more. Finally, I was about seven years old when I started mocking the videos I had seen at night. Again, I did not think anything of it because, in my mind, I was not hurting anyone, and it was my body, so I just continued to do (masturbation). It was not anything clear because I did not have the hormones to register a thought to continue, but in middle school, things changed for me, and I never went back until I was fully woken up to the reality of sin involving all the areas of sex.
I remember I was a freshman in college who had joined a Christian group where they would do a church service on campus on a weekday night when I was informed about sex in all forms. I was confused for a while, embarrassed as if the pastor was staring at me while talking, and mixed emotions of fear and sadness at what was revealed. All this time, I thought there was no harm in messing with myself because it is my body, and I am still a virgin, but there were things said that took me into a different understanding that exposed my addictions and made me want to release them then and there.
That night, I was told for the first time by anyone about the body enduring such sin as well as the mind and heart spiritually, which still alarms me today.
What are the dangers?
Lust
Lust, meaning craving or desire[i], is mentioned periodically in the bible and should be highly regarded when walking life as a follower of Christ. Although lust is not always tied to sexual immorality, I will discuss why it is tied to adultery, but first, I will have to start with, of course, our famous bible people, Adam and Eve. So, in the Garden, where Adam and Eve had a knit relationship with God, God had told them not to eat from the Tree of Life. Now, the tree of life that God created was beautiful and good since he made it, BUT when a serpent approached Eve and allowed her to question God and challenge her mentally, her view of the tree became desirable in a way that was not pleasing to God. The serpent perverted a beautiful God-given creation, the Tree of Life, to Eve, allowing her to grow a desire of her own, causing her to sin, which in a way brought death to her beginning beautifully and wonderfully made relationship with God to a relationship where she is hiding from her sin in shame. You see? That is what lust does. It creates perversion to something that God beautifully designed, and now, your desires and mental illness regarding perversion have engrained in a sinful lifestyle and have brought death to the purity that you were once established in. This causes adultery when you find yourself fantasizing or just overly enticed in the moment of an outer appearance over a person who God created. (A person who did not permit you to have such perverted thoughts about them, let alone who is innocently living life not knowing they are being used in a demonic spiritual nature). Can you understand how lusting can be sinful and just wrong?
It does not stop there. Lusting can cause curiosity and potential exposure, which brings me to porn. *(This is not true for all cases, but it can happen.)
When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
James 1:13-15
For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.
1 John 2:16
I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman. For what is our lot from God above, our heritage from the Almighty on high? Is it not ruin for the wicked, disaster for those who do wrong? Does he not see my ways and count my every step? “If I have walked with falsehood or my foot has hurried after deceit— let God weigh me in honest scales and he will know that I am blameless—if my steps have turned from the path if my heart has been led by my eyes, or if my hands have been defiled, then may others eat what I have sown, and may my crops be uprooted. “If my heart has been enticed by a woman, or if I have lurked at my neighbor’s door, then may my wife grind another man’s grain, and may other men sleep with her. For that would have been wicked, a sin to be judged. It is a fire that burns to Destruction.
Job 31:1-12
Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophet. By her teaching she misleads my servants into sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols. I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling. So I will cast her on a bed of suffering, and I will make those who commit adultery with her suffer intensely, unless they repent of her ways. I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds.
Revelation 2:20-23
Porn
Anyone who has been exposed to porn can agree to some degree that what was exposed beyond your pupils was an image that cannot be forgotten. Such an image by some people has created an enticement that more likely has caused the individual to continue to watch more and more videos. All the enemy needed was that one-time exposure to gratify your flesh and deceive your mind into the bad habits that followed.
- Perversion is one of the side effects that come from watching porn.
Perversion is when something beautiful, pure, and innocent is twisted with a darker edge than what the original creation was created for, making it immoral, falsified, and misrepresented.
You are a child of the devil and an enemy of everything that is right! You are full of all kinds of deceit and trickery. Will you never stop perverting the right ways of the Lord?
Acts 13:10
- Once your mind looks at another individual in such an image, you have allowed yourself to see them as an idol (object) that you cannot stop watching and close the sensitive and pure spot in your heart and mind to see the actors as lost souls. Souls who do not know God and shamefully objectified their bodies to individuals who placed no value on their lives because they did not see themselves as valuable people who were worth dying for.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matthew 5:27-28
- Because it is nearly impossible to watch porn without having urges yourself and curiosity from fantasies of what you see, you then allow the cycle to continue and mature to the next stage, which is masturbation.
Masturbation
Clearly, after watching videos, or even just your body naturally adjusting to new hormones, you may have endured or been tempted to gratify urgers. Although you believe that it is not a problem touching your own body, especially if you are a virgin and see that it is better that you feel yourself than another person who is not your husband. Just know that it is still not okay. Why? Before you get to the action process, demonic spirits intrigue you. If you don’t believe me, the next time before you fulfill the action of this sin, ask yourself,
“What are my thoughts? What led me to this moment, and can I get you out? What is tempting me? Am I watching something? If so, does it glorify God? Is this instant and temporary gratification worth my salvation and love for God? Am I choosing this sin over the love of God?”
Even if you do not see yourself there spiritually to understand, allow yourself some time to think about how this affects you right now or your future husband. Where there is sin, there too are consequences, and you may think it is small now, but before you got to this point of life facing these issues, it started with a small exposure and escalated this far and maybe slowly without you noticing how far you were consumed in this sin.
Then Judah said to Onan, “Sleep with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother.” But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death also.
Genesis 38:8
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them. For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.
Ephesians 5:3-13
Sex
When you are exposed to such spiritual warfare, it becomes warfare over not just your life but also your friends and family. Something that started small grew largely at scale and has become a way of life that has blinded you to the reality of how dark sin is by the temporary gratification you received. First, it starts with exposure, or physical urges, to curiosity. The action comes with the videos that lead to the touching and change your perspective lens on people without you knowing and has created this needing release with the help of maybe toys that carry dark spirits or people that established soul ties. Sleeping with someone who has slept with many people before you and who you are not aware of the demonic nature of those people that they carried to him and into you is not where you want to be!
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Hebrews 13:4
All those four sins alone will cause havoc in your life.
What are some things you should consider when facing such sin but conflicted with your bodily flesh waging against dark spirits? Let me list them here for you!
1. Purity
What is purity?
Purity is “blameless and cleanness,” [ii]which can be shown physically and spiritually. Spiritually, purity is established through devotion and wholeness and exemplified through Jesus Christ himself! I am 100% completely aware that Spiritual purity is 100% important and should be obtained when you surrender your life to Jesus. Still, I also realistically know that some people have not yet been revealed all of the Word of God and do not yet know the effects of the sin that I am laying out, so I am speaking on spiritual and physical purification.
Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.
1 John 3:2-3
I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him. But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.
2 Corinthians 11:2-3
The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.
1 Timothy 1:5
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
Philippians 1:9-11
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
1 Peter 3:1-7
2. Your love for God
It is not enough to quit anything wrong for you out of fact because it’s done from the wrong motif. When you break chains with any sin, you want to be in a place where your heart is aligned with the Word of God. You naturally want to quit because you are madly in love with God and know that if His heart and being do not love sin, fully being in love with God will make you hate sin, too.
This leads me to your heart. What is your heart gesture?
When you fall into the traps of sin, allowing yourself to be entangled reveals where your heart is with God. Nothing on this earth should ever feel addicted to where you cannot quit. If you find yourself in that place, then you allowed your addiction to enslave you and be the center and the God of your life, rather than having God our Heavenly Father over your life, releasing you from such sin.
“And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever.
1 Chronicles 28:9
I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do; I will have no part in it.
Psalms 101:3
You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
James 4:4
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
James 4:7-8
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Philippians 4:8
3. Self-control
I want to be real with you. When you find yourself under such compulsion to where you feel like you cannot escape the lustful spirit and the urges that your body has in wanting any of the four actions that I have listed above (lust, porn, masturbation, sex), then I want you to know that you are entirely under a spiritual attack with a demonic spirit on you. I have been told her name is Jezebel, and I can explain that part later, but God has listed the fruits of the spirit, and self-control is one of the fruits. God has given you a way out, but under such an attack, you must be delivered from sin’s darkness. You may not see the seriousness of what I am saying right now, but in due timing, God willing, your eyes and soul will be awakened to hear the truth.
I know you may be in a relationship with which you cannot cut ties at this point, or you believe this guy could be your future husband. You are playing house, and out of convenience or living situations, whatever excuse you may have, you should ride out your moment with him. Still, I am telling you, sister, that cutting all sin at the root is necessary to obtain a healthy relationship with your special person, you, and God, most importantly.
And may I add to this? Please do not think that your addictions can suddenly disappear when you decide to find a boyfriend or get married. The sin does not go away; it only masks itself in many ways in your relationship and can cause harm to your relationship with your significant other. (Harm can include: lusting after your husband, having no self-control to respect boundaries when your husband tells you no to sex, and having self-control not to cheat *masturbation, toys, and porn defiles the bed and is considered cheating,* harming intimacy between you and your husband *your husband not knowing how to please you or questions himself and merits of delivering what he is supposed to be able to do as your husband,* and your mind fantasizing or lusting after others that can tempt you into stepping out of your marriage.)You still need to go through the process of confessing, surrendering, and releasing the sin fully so that you can spiritually grow and have a healthy relationship with yourself, your husband, and God.
So I say, walk by the spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
Galatians 5:16
But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23
Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
1 Corinthians 7: 5
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be temptedbeyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:13
How have the dangers affected me and you?
You may not think that the weight of sin could affect anyone beyond you, but it does. Your actions in entertaining such sin can hold an extreme amount of weight in the relationships around you, and you will not understand the actual depth of the weight until your spouse is burdened from a chain of sin that has not yet been released by your decision to quit.
Let me give you an example of how your actions affect you and your spouse.
As I mentioned, I was entangled with this sin from an early age. I managed to make it a lifestyle, not knowing what came with it outside of the instant gratification until I met my husband. At the time, we were not married, but when God told me he was my husband, over time of our loving friendship rooted in Christ, I managed to say to him that I was ready to have sex because I knew with my whole heart that he was the one. Although I had to convince him I was ready, I was surprised once we laid together and completed the action. I did not know what I was doing and what I was supposed to feel, but I assumed after years of watching porn and masturbation that what I had just finished with my soon-to-be husband was just not right. He felt convicted and did not want to do it again until we were married, but the doors were already open, and we failed many times to abstain from what we were trying to keep our purity. Can I tell you that I was not pleased with the outcome the many times we were done with our moment? I needed to finish the gratification I felt once I knew he was fully asleep. I thought I was hiding the fact that I needed that finish because I did not want him to believe that he was not enough or that there was something wrong with me, so I continued to hide my actions for a while.
After some time and many obstacles, the Holy Spirit revealed that I would never have that completion with my husband until I was married, but most of all, until I learned to stop pleasing myself and allow him to please me.
You see, I spent years knowing how to please my body and already knew what I liked to where it was difficult for me to allow myself to give all of me to my soon-to-be husband. It was even more crazy to assume that just because I had him, my addictions would go away because I had my person for life to please me, but I could not be pleased and fake experiences because I also wanted to be the best to him. I have seen so many videos that I trained my mind to believe that what I watched was real, but it was not. It was not until I finally was caught that I told him about every struggle that I faced regarding sex. I explained to him that I did not know what to do and could only go off videos to make it pleasing to him. I did not enjoy it physically because it was always painful (years later, I found out that it was a medical condition with my pelvic floor that caused a lot of those issues), but I was just open to my struggles and what I had faced.
It was not until I wholly gave up my sins because they had entirely made me sick that I awakened Spiritually and did not have a desire anymore for it all. But seeing the effects of strain it had between me and my now husband made our relationship rocky in those areas. I didn’t know how to let him satisfy me, but it was also not the right time either. That had created a lot of strain with the conditions that he felt, so that area of our life was not there. However, when we finally got married, I remember that night, and when we finished, let’s just say that he busted out in prayer!
Coming to an end, I don’t share this information with you to condemn you in any shape or form. I mean, I was in a place of not knowing all these spiritual realities until they were too revealed to me as a freshman in college, and let me add, it still took time for me to spiritually mature and be fully awakened to put into a lifestyle that I did not know was harming me. I am sharing this with you because I know that you need to hear the truth, and not many people are willing to be comfortable sharing it with you as a believer. It is a sensitive topic that can be uncomfortable, or maybe the terminology used can be a trigger to hear. Suppose this was challenging to read due to triggers. In that case, I sincerely apologize and pray that you seek help, but this again is intended to serve you, sister, to be released of any sexual immorality spirit that has you in bondage. God created sex and the image of your body as well as your spouse to be beautiful, not used in vain from the perversion that only the world can give. Sex was to be a form of worship done in a marriage between you and your spouse. Your body is not your own but God’s and whomever he sends in your life to serve and be served.
If you are facing this sin deeply and alone, find help. If you feel that you are spiritually not equipped to face this battle alone, remember the battle is not yours to fight, but yours to surrender. Seek help from someone you can trust who knows God and serves the church. God gave you discernment, so seek the right community to share your struggles. Sin in the darkness will be exposed to the light, air out that hidden closet in your mind and those deadly hours that lured you into such action, and speak with vulnerability to that person so they can pray for you. You don’t need to tell everyone what you are going through, but I know you cannot face this alone. God sends fellowship for moments like this! Please also remember that you are never alone as well. God, your Heavenly Father, lives in you and is with you. You may have tuned Him out enough to where you cannot hear Him, or you may hear Him and have not considered it God but seek him. When you seek Him and repent (which is to apologize, ask for forgiveness, and turn away from your sin) and open your heart to Him, you will see He is so for you and will be with you every day. He will deliver you, and when you feel tempted, He will give you a way out; just put your trust, mind, and heart in Him.
Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father,
I came here to pray for my sister in need. She is lost in the ways of the world and trapped by sin that has consumed a good portion of her body mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Please touch her heart right now. Please allow this session of her reading your Word to open the eyes of her heart to really see and know who you are. Where perversion has consumed her eyes and mind, cleanse her. Where she may feel ashamed and used or abused by the weight of sin, deliver her. Anoint her Father. Send her the right community to help her mature in the body of Christ. Truly transform her into the complete image you see her as when you created her. But let her know right now, Father, that even in this moment of her feeling lost, weary, and embarrassed or even sorry, you never stopped loving your baby girl. Let her know the love of the Father. Holy Spirit, get her. Captivate her. Baptize her in the name of Jesus. Consume her and the generations to come after. Bless her womb with God-fearing children when the time comes. Heal any disease that has touched her body when she was lost. Let your Word be steadfast and imprinted on her mind and heart in Jesus name; thank you, Abba,
Amen.
Shalom, God bless you!
Scriptures
Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure and have washed my hands in innocence.
Psalms 73:13
Vindicate me, Lord,
for I have led a blameless life; I have trusted in the Lord and have not faltered. Test me, Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness. I do not sit with the deceitful, nor do I associate with hypocrites. I abhor the assembly of evildoers and refuse to sit with the wicked. I wash my hands in innocence, and go about your altar, Lord, proclaiming aloud your praise and telling of all your wonderful deeds.
Psalms 26:1-7
Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.
Romans 13:14
Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
2 Timothy 2:22
Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul.
1 peter 2:11
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
1 Peter 5:8-9
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.
Colossians 3:5
I hope you will put up with me in a little foolishness. Yes, please put up with me! I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him. But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than the Jesus we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the Spirit you received, or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it easily enough. I do not think I am in the least inferior to those “super-apostles.”I may indeed be untrained as a speaker, but I do have knowledge. We have made this perfectly clear to you in every way. Was it a sin for me to lower myself in order to elevate you by preaching the gospel of God to you free of charge? I robbed other churches by receiving support from them so as to serve you. And when I was with you and needed something, I was not a burden to anyone, for the brothers who came from Macedonia supplied what I needed. I have kept myself from being a burden to you in any way, and will continue to do so. As surely as the truth of Christ is in me, nobody in the regions of Achaia will stop this boasting of mine. Why? Because I do not love you? God knows I do!
And I will keep on doing what I am doing in order to cut the ground from under those who want an opportunity to be considered equal with us in the things they boast about. For such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants also masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve.
2 Corinthians 11:1-15
[i] lust, meaning craving or desireRose, K. (2023, October 25). What is Lust in the Bible?. Covenant Eyes. https://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/what-is-lust-in-the-bible/
[ii] Purity – encyclopedia of the bible – bible gateway. (n.d.). https://www.biblegateway.com/resources/encyclopedia-of-the-bible/Purity
