Late Night Message: For Overthinkers & Mental Health Recoveries

God knows the thought process I had that led me to make every decision I made at the time. He knows everything that was judged by others because of my thoughts, and yet he saw the best in me. When everyone else around could and only wanted to see the worst. When everyone wasn’t mindful but quick to assume the worst, not knowing what life I was faced with when making decisions, decisions that didn’t serve them, I was judged. When my thoughts from previous experiences told me to be cautious, I became fearful instead of being wise enough to examine the fruits in situations and people honestly. My defensiveness from deception and cloudy thoughts made me overbearing in watching my sheep because the wolves around me were disguising themselves in sheep’s clothing; yet again, I was judged.

They gave me names for who I became through trauma, they gave me names for loving hard, they gave me names for walking the path God laid out for me, and those names altered my thoughts on my identity. I then questioned myself and became lost. 

But then, when I fell asleep through depression and anxiety with a whole lot of the world’s words in my mind, I became so tired of life and just wanted myself back again. It wasn’t until I was fed up with feeling empty, betrayed, and worthless that I woke up to reality. 

The world doesn’t know the whole story of why I am the way I am, but I won’t stoop to their level and give them what they want. I’m not going to counterfeit my identity in God, trying to be that person that everyone wants me to be. 

I am who I am. Life happened, and it’s still happening, but I now know and will remember that He sees the best in me. It doesn’t matter what people say; He knows EVERYTHING. I will not let your judgment, my past judgment of myself, or trauma judgment tell me who I am. He saw and continues to see the best in me. He sees the finished product of who He created in Him. He sees the child who will praise Him daily in Heaven for eternity.

I had to learn to step back and reevaluate my life, but I finally noticed that many of the issues stemmed from my mind, and that needed to change.

 God already chose me, and I followed. Now, I must renew my mind on heavenly thoughts and remember how he sees me.

I have the authority to renew my mind daily. I have the authority to choose what comes in and stays out of my life and mind. I have the authority to pick and choose my thoughts and the free will to live out my life according to what plays in my mind.