Do I Serve Him Without a Ring?
Today, it is common to see that women have come to their senses of knowing their worth and can take on any challenge just like their superior, “Man.” So much so that it seems that women—not all, but a good amount—have shifted simple mannerisms at the cost of losing their pride. I want to review today’s “Do I serve my man without a ring?” question.
Short Story: How Inspiration Came
First, I want to clarify that this message was inspired by two ladies I had encountered who were confused and questioned why I was making my husband a plate of food while he was sitting at the guest table at a wedding with our two babies. I was confused at how that could even be a question, but I told her I love serving my husband. I continued telling the ladies that it is not a big deal to serve someone I love since I have always dreamed of becoming a wife and serving, and now that I have been blessed with my dream, I honor it. I continued speaking when one of the ladies suddenly said they could only serve her boyfriend once she had a ring. The statement she made there came with applause from the other lady. After all that, I came home and talked to my husband about what was said, and then I came up with many things that I wished I could have told the ladies.
Since I was not able to share my thoughts then, it became such a pain in my heart to know that today, being a “woman” comes with independence and pride so strong that it has altered what is common decency to the point that they cannot even make a plate for someone they supposedly love. I could not express my sudden feelings with those confused ladies that day, but I want to share with all who read this why it’s vital to serve without a ring.
Why don’t you? You give him everything else!
I never understood why women (not all) could playhouse with their boyfriends but could only cater to them to an extent.
Example: Women could give their bodies to their boyfriend, which is more valuable than anything offered, but they have a problem making the plate.
How? You just gave your body away to him for free without a ring, which led your boyfriend to believe that he had already received everything he wanted from you. At that point, making a plate would be a plus to him, but it will not be measured by what you already give him after the meal. You, as the woman, now how revealed to your boyfriend that your body had not much to offer, which made you, as the woman, degrade yourself before he could have degraded you.
So, I question with love, why? Why is it so easy to flaunt your precious assets and give them away to a community of men than for you to have a genuine heart for serving?
This topic may come with a lot of heat, but what is true will offend people.
Let me clarify: I’m not just talking to women as a whole; I am talking about women who say they love God and have a relationship with God but have no characteristics that align with who God is. He says that He made us in His image.
“So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.”
Genesis 1:27
It is clear as day that the Son of God came down to live life with us and show us how to be children of God. In Jesus’s time that he lived on this earth, we have read and can attest, as a faithful witness, how he has served everyone he has encountered. Jesus is the SON of God, and yet, had no pride but a loving, genuine heart to serve people. He served no matter where they were, where they came from, or even in their current circumstances. We should not ignore that characteristic as children; we should obey since He directs us to serve one another.
“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as ransom for many.”
Mark 10:45
“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh, rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command; “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Galatians 5:13
“Rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death- even death on a cross!”
Philippians 2:4-8
It is a Valued Characteristic
Showing yourself as someone who serves others is an excellent characteristic to have. It is not about the attention you may get from others, but that with you being yourself, people will know exactly who you are. They will see you care, value others, and have great humility. This characteristic is seen in mothers and wives if you are looking for that ring, but if you do not naturally have it in your heart to serve before the ring, how will your boyfriend know to put it on your finger? You have not shown your boyfriend the essential characteristics of a wife.
“He who finds a wife finds what is good
and receives favor from the Lord.”
Proverbs 18:22
“A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.”
Proverbs 31:10
God-given Gifts are Meant to be shared.
Do you know that God gives us gifts? Gifts not made for just you but to be used and shared with others? Note to self: What is one gift that you know God has given you that you can use to share with others?
“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen”
1 Peter 4:10-11
Concerning Spiritual Gifts
“Now about the gifts of the Spirit, brothers and sisters, I do not want you to be uninformed. You know that when you were pagans, somehow or other you were influenced and led astray to mute idols. Therefore I want you to know that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.
There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.
Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.”
1 Corinthians 12:1-11
God reviews Selfless Love without expecting.
Have you ever witnessed a father working hard to ensure his kids were cared for? Working hard financially for the most part so that the house and every need was cared for. Or you have maybe been raised by your mother who maybe (when you look back, maybe in the same role now) slaved all day in the home, taking care of every need that her child or children need—making meals and serving them to clean up after the children throughout the house. The mother took on even beyond the house duties, and maybe even you today. Now, my next question is, have you ever witnessed a mother who did not have ANY of those qualities of serving? One might say that the mother who served was exhausted and uptight and always doing, while the father was never in the home, but a parent today would look back and see two parents working together as a team to make sure that their family was well taken care of. The mother paid attention to every detail of the child and served their needs accordingly, without the child realizing she was catering to that need. The parents serving exhibited selfless love for their children as mothers and fathers.
I tell you whether you are a parent, friend, daughter, sister, teacher, or just a stranger passing through. I want to challenge you to look beyond your needs and pay attention to the fine details in their lives. Notice the little things, and don’t just ask them; by action, serve those people you are blessed to have in your life. Have enough love to pour out a serving heart, at least to the people who have poured out their hearts by serving you. When you can serve loved ones close to home, you can grow to have the heart to serve others around you without expecting anything in return.
We all go through the process of life, and we come to a place where we serve somebody. I suggest, sister, that you write down a list of everyone’s name that has served you in your life on one side and on the other, write down every person’s name that you have served. Let your serving hand be more significant than your receiving hand!
“In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.'”
Acts 20:35
“Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.
Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
“And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever. Consider now, for the LORD has chosen you to build a house as the sanctuary. Be strong and do the work.”
1 Chronicles 28:9-10
I believe I have revealed the answer to the question, “Do I serve my man before marriage?” Yes, you do serve him, and you serve him respectfully as a sister in Christ, meeting needs that are appropriate and accessible for you to meet. I am not going to condone playing the house part before marriage. Still, my point to this message is to respond to women who believe it is okay to playhouse and give away their valued assets to it being meaningless compared to having a servant’s heart. First comes serving your brother, then comes the ring and marriage, so there is no confusion about your role in his life, and there is no “playing” but simply living and glorifying God under a covenant. Please note that just because you are married does not mean you stop serving your husband, and vice versa. Again, this is about your character; your heart reflects it through actions that God judges.
I pray that this message reaches the right person and inspires you to make the necessary changes to become closer to God’s heart and show self-respect and value to your life and body. Shalom (Peace!).
Scriptures on Serving:
“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
The king will reply, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters if mine, you did for me.”
Matthew 25:35-40
“Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Luke 6:38
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
Romans 12:9-13
“Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.”
Ephesians 6:7-8
“God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised”
Hebrews 6:10-12
