Mama's New Project: Eliminating Some Holiday Traditions and Establishing A Genuine Lifestyle For Children. -

Trying to figure out how to raise my children with holiday traditions everywhere has been a challenging area of parenting that I am still learning. I have personally and spiritually read scripture and see how we are not to take part in it, but when the world makes it look shiny and fun, my toddlers get excited with their pure hearts. So, this year, I decided to try the transition route.

We as a family never did the whole Thanksgiving celebration (the kids and I don’t eat the food, and my husband usually worked) and Christmas; I just believed they were too young even to care and would let them see the decorated houses that are displayed out every year… but this year, I decided to establish something new for the boys. Seeing that my boys were older with a new understanding of the holidays from what is displayed and even talked about in story time at the Library, I realized that they developed a joy for the holidays and now had become vocal to express their wants to sing songs played from the grocery store and decorating a Christmas tree.

Because I grew up in a traditional home where my mother made clear the agenda of our to-dos around the house and a list of activities that were a part of our family traditions, I was not too far off where to start with my family on traditions. Still, because I had an overload of Christmas growing up, I also experienced where to draw the line with many of the traditions played out. While I did enjoy the memorable moments that I can still look back at (other than buying other people gifts who would express their dislike of the gift I gave from my heart), it became difficult to pick and choose what traditions I wanted to stay and what I needed to give up that were not pleasing to God in any way.

Again, I did enjoy many of my holiday traditions as a kid. Still, when I went from pre-teen to adulthood, many of the traditions became non-enjoyable in the sense of stress to be on time to enjoy a moment that really could not be enjoyed in the end because of the beginning stressful process of making the moment or even the expectations that an individual had when marking memories. But because I could experience even the downside of the traditions, I could note what my family traditions needed to make our holidays special and unique for our family walk with God during the picking and choosing process.

What Did We Change?

No Unnecessary Stress & Big Expectations

My husband and I learned early on, with our curiosity of trying food we love from different locations, that you cannot go into trying the dish with high expectations or comparison. Each dish from its chef is different, and that same ideal perspective should be applied to holiday celebrations and children. Yes, Mama, I get you want to create the best experience for your children, like how you grew up. Or maybe from what you never had, but at what cost will you create your experiences? I LOVED the holidays growing up. But I always remember the stress my mother had trying to make it look a certain way from her childhood experiences, that all it did was make her unhappy and displeasing to be around. It also created unnecessary bickering with my daddy as well. My sisters and I, to this day, mention the stress of the holidays as a child trying to please her desires. The last thing we want to do is to be that mother who worked hard and stressed over a holiday season when the children were perfectly content about having it any way they received it, while the mother also misses the joy through it all, creating moments. Trust me; my mother and other mothers I have met can all say the same thing. They slaved away behind the scenes to create memories they could not enjoy while their kids could have enjoyed just the simple things….

I see that in my three-year-old already. I bought toys throughout the year for my boys (3 under 3), thinking they would enjoy the toys because of their interest, all for them to play with for a second and move on to the box it came in. I promised their excitement for simple things, which made me realize how I was overbearing in their imagination while trying to bring joy when they had already had joy. This made me learn just to let things be.

If not that, do you know how many memories I wanted to capture with my phone? After just one photo, my toddler would tell me, “Okay, you took your picture now. Can you please put down the phone and stop taking pictures of me? Just come play, Mama!” I know it’s strange that even my toddler knows when I am doing too much!

Anyway, there are many moments when parents stress that their children have the best gift or childhood experience, but at what cost? Do not stress or have high expectations through the holiday season when your children want to cry on Santa’s lap or stop decorating Santa cookies after receiving their own. You do not need to make eleven different foods for one meal, go broke behind a Christmas with a gift count, or do the same twenty-planned activities because it’s on the to-do list of traditions. Everything that you do from the heart will be cherished. Enjoy your time with your children. Slow down, just be present, and praise God that you can share another season with your children and explain the true meaning of Christmas.

No Santa Claus

It was important to me to explain to my toddlers, who are again 3, 2, and 1 year old, that Santa Claus is an imaginary person who is not allowed to come down our chimney or into our house at any point. I explained how it is fun to pretend about Santa Claus, but the people they run to dressed like him are people wearing costumes who play pretend.

Why did I do this?

Today, times are different than the days I was raised, when you did not have much thought of a man in a suit holding children on their laps. (Well, it was still questioned, especially for my sisters and I, to sit on his lap after a known rule that we are to never sit on any man’s lap, including family), but I did not want my toddlers to think this pretend person was real and more significant than the Story of Jesus. I also did not want them to believe that Santa Claus is safe to where, God forbid, they feel like they can open the front door to one waiting to cause harm or that anyone they see out in public they can trust. (I live on a busy street where people dress up and walk along the main road. And a lot of them are not all there if you know what I mean), So, I told them the truth about Santa Claus for their safety. It did not stop their joy in the music they heard playing, nor did it make them fearful, but it made them aware that they can have joy from afar, and for now, I am okay with that!

Opening Gifts on Christmas Day

Initially, I did not plan to have gifts under the tree in general, but my husband changed his mind at the last minute, which made me have to come up with a way to make Christmas Day ALL about Jesus. Since the gifts came only a few days before Christmas Eve, I had to last minute allow the kids to open the gifts after the candle-lit service on Christmas Eve. I was still not pleased to open gifts then, but it beat putting them out on Christmas morning and ruining my plans for Jesus Day of Celebration and His Birthday Party that evening.

What Did We Implement?

1. 31 Days of Street Ministry

Sharing the Gospel and praying

Street Ministry was something I could experience before starting a family and something I missed during the early years of my becoming a parent due to the pandemic in 2020 and my fear of strangers with my newborns. Thankfully, I have come to a fearless place with the awareness to step back out and spread God’s love in everyday life with my children. Showing them that wherever we are in time, whether at the grocery store, library, or park, there is always someone we can reach out to about the Gospel, pray for, or love on them and be ourselves with God shining through us.

My family and I decided that this was the best gift we could give others because the gift of knowing God continues to give until eternal life with Him. This was also a good way of showing the kids that even if they are rejected by people when we pray or tell them about God, in those 31 days, we are to keep still pressing into others and not allow rejection to stop us from spreading God’s message.

*I want to inform you, Mama, that if you are doing this with toddlers like me, I suggest you pray to God about where you should be for the day and pray in advance for the encounters, protection, and awareness. I also recommend that you allow your toddlers to have time before you go (even at a park) to let energy out before you approach people and that you have snacks and the main essentials to keep your toddler at ease and occupied while you have an encounter.

(I personally would only attempt this in known locations that were a part of my schedule, such as parks, libraries, and stores. I would also rather have my husband with me or share my location for safety. You do what best works out with your family and be prepared and aware!

2. Collect canned food for donations

Collecting canned food and donating to people shows your toddler that the holidays are not just about receiving but about giving. There are many ways to give, but collecting food donations for a soup kitchen during the holidays teaches your toddler the many ways of serving God’s people, especially when they do not come from the same background or look like them.

The best way to do this is by visiting a nice neighborhood that seems safe enough to walk door-to-door asking for canned goods. If you want, you can get your whole family (parents, sisters, brothers, in-laws) to join you on this quest and make it a fun family tradition of serving together as one big family unit. Then, find a donation center or soup kitchen where they receive donations.

3. Soup Kitchen

Serving in the soup kitchen can still work for your family if you have a toddler. Although they may not be able to bring food to those who are there to receive their meals, during their slow operating hours, you can assist your toddler in bringing napkins and essentials to those who request or need them. Being an example of loving people in need rewards you and your toddler and can create a desire to continue loving people.

4. Closet and Toy Clean-out

The holidays are filled with shopping from the beginning of November and are not entirely over until Christmas Eve. Shopping for gifts for your children starts simple and very little until you realize that you may have overindulged in the gifts, not to mention the gifts they would receive from family members and friends.

Whoa! Many gifts consume a lot of space.

This is the best time to teach a few lessons in a closet and toy clean-out process. Try to communicate with your toddler that they have many items they were blessed with for the time being, but because they are not used much anymore by them, the items served their time and purpose here and now need to be given away to other people who need them. You can include how the items will serve others and teach them about how there are people who have nothing and deserve to be blessed with nice things, too.

Remember that it is better to give than receive!

“In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
Acts 20:35

5. Toy drive

Because we have talked to our toddlers and older children about the importance of giving and how other people without would love nice things, too, creating a toy drive could be another fun way to serve others during the holidays. I know there are homeschool communities in many communities, so try getting your family together with local schools, churches, and/or homeschool communities to collect toys around November and early December and disburse the gifts to local shelters and children’s hospitals for Christmas.

You can have help from your family, friends, and volunteers who want to participate in this serving act to take time out of their Christmas day to make the drives to deliver gifts.

If you feel led, you can find resources from the community center or call actual locations like hospitals and shelters to see if Christmas cards were made requesting certain gifts and distribute them accordingly. You can also contact CASA to see if there are foster children who could receive the donated gifts.

This is a season that every child knows about when it comes to traditions of receiving gifts, yet they are not able to be a part of those traditions because of life circumstances. Although in the future I plan on taking trips as a gift to my children or giving one gift each to them, I know that at a young age, with different belief systems, every kid would not understand not to receive a gift. So in doing this, it is not to take back how you feel about Christmas traditions altogether and the way you do them in your home; this is to be an example to your children of the importance of giving to those you can because everyone should have a chance to receive despite of their looks and circumstances.

*If it helps, you can add Christmas cards with prayers for each gift.

6. Write Letters

My husband and I love writing end-of-the-year personal letters to our loved ones and sending them out for Christmas. It is a good way to be intentional with those you care about and to speak life through the Holy Spirit to everyone. After our toddlers witnessed us writing letters, they, too, wanted to join in on what now became a family bonding activity. Although they do not know how to write, we would let them color in coloring book pages and let them decide who to send the page to. Often, they had a few words they wanted to share in the letter, which my husband and I would write on their behalf, but hearing their heartfelt words for their loved ones made the experience perfect.

If you want to try this with your family, here are a few people who would love to receive a card from your family.

Loved ones (family & friends)
Community (neighbors, local workers who you know or may not know, everyday people who serve you such as postal carriers, law enforcement, and garbage truck workers)
Adults & Children In the Hospitals

7. Stocking prayers & Footprints

Since my babies were born, I decided to hang a stocking with their names on it, where I would write a prayer letter over them, with their painted footprint attached to the letter. This way, when they are grown and have families, I can reflect on their footprints and give them their stockings to read every prayer I have ever prayed over them.

I also wrote a letter to my husband.

I don’t know when my time is up here, but I want my children to know that I have prayed for them every day and hope that the letters will help guide them in their prayers for their children.

8. Candy Cane lesson

I came across a video by an Instagram Christian Author, Heidie Lee Anderson, who shared a fun activity to do with your children called the “Candy Cane Gospel.” A Christian Ministry initially created the activity called “By The Book” (which I will have on Facebook and the website linked below), and their goal is to share the Gospel through the Candy Canes, expressing the real meaning of Christmas.

While trying to enjoy a sweet treat, use the candy canes to show your children these few perspectives of your sweet treat. But first, let’s grab two Candy Canes.

First, flip the Candy Cane upside down. The Candy Cane resembles the letter “J” and reminds us of Jesus, our Lord and Savior.

Second, flip it right side up to a stand. Now, you have a shepherd’s staff representing the ultimate good shepherd, Jesus.

Then, you combine two canes in the shape of a heart and are reminded of why Jesus came.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
John 3:16

Finally, you explain the colors used for the Candy Canes. Red stripes remind us of the blood he shed for us, and white stripes show how He washed our sins away and made us pure.

Try this at home and enjoy your activity and your special treat!

9. Candle Lit Service

On Christmas Eve, many churches have a candle-lit service where they worship, have a sermon about the birth of Jesus, have a moment to pray, light actual candles for Jesus, and end with beautiful worship to honor Jesus and His precious birth.

Taking part in this can help guide you and your family back to the true meaning of Christmas, where you can stop the chaos of shopping and preparations and sit and reflect on Jesus’ birth as a day that was pure and rich in that this baby was going to one day die and rise again so that you and your family can live an eternal life.

For the first time this year, I participated in this service as I have always hoped I could, and I can tell you that it can leave you with a different perspective on the holidays and in tears for this beautiful baby Savior.

10. Jesus Birthday Party

Who does not like a party? Since November, when the stores started putting out Christmas decorations, I have told my toddlers that Christmas was coming and that everyone was so excited to celebrate Jesus’ birthday that they put up things early in the stores so that they could get ready for His birthday party. I cannot express how my toddlers held on to just the “Jesus birthday party” part of my story, that they honestly could not wait for Christmas.

Jesus’ birthday party Schedule:

Morning:
- A good and healthy breakfast.
- The boys played with a few gifts they opened the night before since I wanted the whole day to be about Jesus.)
- Bible reading
- Worship
- Reach out to family and friends
Noon
- Lunch
- Naptime
- (I prepared for dinner, which was something nice and simple)

▪ Wake up at 3 p.m.

Park

Nighttime
- Story of Jesus’ birth (Children’s story & Bible time)
- Worship Music (Karaoke) & Dance Party
- Prayer & Thankful messages
- Dinner
- Happy Birthday song with cake!

My daytime schedule is based on a Toddler’s schedule, but you can modify it to suit your family’s schedule.

Reflection from the Holidays.

Ultimately, everything I listed was a success for my toddler, but I must admit something. I was the Mama who caved and put up the Christmas tree and stockings the toddlers had seen in the garage. My husband managed to LAST Minute get Christmas gifts, too, because he felt bad that the kids would possibly miss out if we celebrated our desired ways and skipped it all. Honestly, the decorated Christmas tree has always been my favorite part of usual traditions, so much so that if I could keep the tree up all year round, I would! Thankfully, though, my husband and I realized that after opening the gifts (which we did on the Eve of Christmas after church), we did not like seeing our toddlers open one gift to admire for a second before reaching for the next gift. No matter how much we paused the opening part so the toddlers could try to appreciate what they had received, they would burst into frustrated emotions that we had never seen for more gifts. (Yes, they are toddlers, and it may be expected, but I felt like this was the beginning of a greedy and never-content trait that did not settle well in my stomach and made me dislike the moment.). I told my husband that if he wanted to get them gifts again next year, it could only be one gift each and a family joint gift of an experience.

{Before y’all come after me, let me note: The kids get EVERYTHING they need throughout the year, plus things that I may compulsively buy just for fun, so by the time the holidays come, they really do not need anything. Not at least 10 gifts alone in one day. Think about it: you have them make a list of everything they want, and they have about 50 items on the list, but which item did they want on Christmas? They are bound to look at most of what you bought on their list and only want to play with one thing. And remember that they have other family members who will buy them gifts too. That seems to me way too many gifts in one day for toddlers, children, and adults of any age.)

Although my family did not understand my reasons after explaining to them MANY times why I was making a change during the season holidays, I allowed my family to make me feel bad many times toward the end, which made me slightly have thoughts to change the holiday plans I intended to embark on with my family. After having that bad feeling on Christmas Eve with the gifts that I was not interested in doing, my husband and I realized that despite how we look like bad parents to the world on how we celebrate Christmas, we, in the end, are the parents of our children, in charge of raising them the way God intended us to. We learned that this is our house, and

“But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
Joshua 24:15

It’s still a transition as I am raising toddlers. I gently respect my outside family when they naturally try to include our children in their traditions without feeling rejected. Still, it is a process I am walking through and will soon be fully transitioned into. I have made it known that I may not be able to keep them away from the pagan holiday traditions, especially with family, and that is okay because they can still learn to love people with different beliefs or establish things for themselves. Still, as my daddy used to say, “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” Everything we do in this household will glorify God and keep Him and His precious son at the center of our lives and the Holiday Season! I hope that the activities that I listed and suggested for you to implement in your holiday traditions will be a positive addition. I pray that the Holy Spirit will direct you to be aware of and mindful of pagan holiday traditions so that everything that you and your family do will glorify God.

God Bless, Shalom!

NIV Scriptures

Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked, “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? They don’t wash their hands before they eat!”

Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is ‘devoted to God,’ they are not to ‘honor their father or mother’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you:

“‘These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain;
their teachings are merely human rules.

Matthew 15:1-9

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them.

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said:

“Wake up, sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.

Ephesians 5:6-17

See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ.

Colossians 2:8

Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods. But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable forces? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again? You are observing special days and months and seasons and years! I fear for you, that somehow I have wasted my efforts on you.

Galatians 4:8-11

“To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 8:31-32

Resources

By the book. Facebook. (n.d.). https://www.facebook.com/bythebookACHC/posts/share-the-gospel-and-the-real-meaning-of-christmas-with-candy-canes/902620425401369/

Thompson, S. (n.d.). For parents. By the Book. https://www.bythebookhuntington.org/parents