‘I Am’ A Praying Wife
I Am,
A Praying Wife
The other day, I talked to my sister and randomly blurted out, “I was meant to be a wife!” My sister asked me, “Where did that come from? We are talking about the kid’s potty training, and you just bust out saying that.” I responded, “I don’t know where that came from; I just felt it in my spirit, and it just came out. But it’s true. You, out of all people, know that all I wanted to be growing up was a wife and mother. That is all I used to imagine during playtime, and that clearly never left me because it really happened.” I was surprised by where the conversation had led. Despite every trial my husband and I have endured, I was just in awe and praised God for allowing me to become a wife and be where I am currently.
In childhood, when you have a huge imagination, you do not think about the bad things during your playtime. You find yourself almost imagining a fairytale life with nothing but happy endings. Although it is beautifully sweet at the time of just living out the fairytale life of nothing but goodness, it becomes a huge wake-up call as an adult where life has happened, and you are in the reality of your relationship with your husband facing or have faced many hardships. Hardships that you feel like you just cannot come out of. Hardships that you really want to seek help, and hardships where you have prayed almost everything you could have possibly thought about to pray and just don’t know what else to pray for.
I want you to say,
“Please do not be discouraged!”
Praying for the same person every day may seem like a repetition of the same prayer: “Lord, please protect my husband. Lord, please bless our marriage. Lord, please heal us.” You may feel like you are at a standstill, wondering if there is more to be prayed or if you have just come to the end of your prayer mission for your husband, but every day that you are blessed to be his wife is a day that you are blessed to be able to pray for him. You are just in a season where you need to lean more on the Holy Spirit to intercede in your prayer life rather than relying on your efforts or situations to get you by.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
Romans 8:26-27
“We have authority over our children that is given to us by the Lord. We don’t have authority over our husbands. However, we have been given authority “over all the power of the enemy’ (Luke 10:19) and can do great damage to the enemy’s plans when we pray.”[i] When we get married, we become unified in one body of Christ, where two children from God with His power come together and are given more weight and increased power in their prayers. Can you imagine that? An increase in your Father’s power through you and your husband’s prayers? But what happens when there is just one spouse praying and feels the weight of marriage weighing in on her, leaving her feeling depressed with anxiety and possibly angry and confused? I know that life can happen, and through everyday schedules where you and your husband are everywhere but together or even when you are in the same house together, you are not really ‘together,’ that marriage can seem alone and dim. You may feel like you have given your all and come to the end of your marriage already with nothing left to give but let me tell you. Your marriage is not over. Let me repeat! Your marriage is not over.
You believe that God is a “waymaker, miracle worker, promise keeper, light in the darkness” (Leeland “Waymaker” song). You believe that God brought the dead back to life. You believe the woman was healed by her faith from touching Jesus’ cloth. And you also believe Jesus died for the forgiveness of your sins and made it possible for you to be born again in His Spirit. What you believe Is not just true to you as an individual, but it is true for your marriage as well. God, who formed your marriage, Jesus said,
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Matthew 19:4-6
God, your Heavenly Father, will restore you and your marriage and bring them back to life in its new creation! Your marriage will be born again because He is in your marriage who you and your husband made vows to. He is the Father who is in the center where you and your husband first met. So do not give up on believing and KNOWING who your Father is!
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
1 Peter 5:10
Where Do I Start?
It is easy to vent to God about your husband and everything he has said and done, justifying your reactions easy! It honestly makes me personally tell God, “You see him? Lord, I know you see him. Get him Holy Spirit because I CAN’T!” Although we can go the measures of blaming each other, because honestly, what affects your husband affects you, and vice versa, the starting point to increasing your prayer life and diving deep for a transformative marriage is starting with yourself. It starts with praying over yourself first and asking God to reveal the sins and flaws that you have in your heart. Before you pray on behalf of your husband, where again I say it is easy to vent to God about how wrong your husband is and make known his flaws and errors, we must not forget that we are not perfect either and need to lay down our pains and seek change from within because hidden resentment unforgiveness, hurt, anger, hostile attitude, and toxic behavior can sabotage prayers that are meant to be intentional and can lead to seem like God is not answering your prayers. We have to pray over ourselves and ask God to change our heart and mind perspective, allowing us to view ourselves and be transformed to where we can view our spouse as a loving child of God that God made beautifully in a secret place with purpose.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
Matthew 7:3-5
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
1 Peter 3:1-2
Now that you have realized that you need prayer just as much as your husband, which brings transformation, you will now add to your prayer life the things you must pray for as a wife over your husband.
1. Pray for Marriage
I know that I said that you need to look within yourself first and be changed before putting a lot of the weight and blame on your husband, which I stand by, but in the journey of praying over your life and character, marriage is still ongoing for you which means that you still need to pray for it. Because I mentioned how to pray for a new lens of perspective and heart posture, I want you to try changing your prayers as well. Rather than blaming, where God can clearly see EVERYTHING, try praying for your marriage in general. Pray for the things you hope to see a change in. Pray for you to become a better wife, loving your husband like Jesus and loving, serving, and forgiving your husband the way Jesus loves, serves, and forgives you. Pray for God’s transformation and presence over your marriage and in your home where your marriage lives. Speak scripture declaring God’s truth in your prayers so that you are familiar with the Word and speaking life, declaring to God your belief in His Word and promises. You and your husband need God, as well as each other. Pray that your heart and mind will be aligned in truth, knowing that just as God created Eve for Adam, saying, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18), that the same God made you and your spouse for each other to be helpers building, encouraging, praying, speaking life, and displaying Jesus love for each other. NEVER think of life without your husband and how easy the world may display the “freedom” you gain from self-love followed by leaving. The world will trick you with these women’s movements that only please themselves. You are a child of God, set apart, and in this era of your life until death, you were made to be a wife, too. A faithful wife. Not just to your husband but to a faithful wife who made vows to God. The same God who will judge your faithfulness when He the Groom comes back for His faithful Bride.
(Marriage is essential, so I added more scriptures)
Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty.
So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.
Malachi 2:15-16
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Hebrews 13:4
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.
Matthew 12:25
Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman.
1 Corinthians 11:11
2. Pray for Affection (giving and receiving)
Showing affection is showing your spouse that you love and care for them, which builds intimacy, closeness, trust, and security. Affection looks like many things in action: physical touch, words of affirmation, thoughtful gestures, acts of service, gift-giving, and quality time—pretty much displaying the five love languages. Without simple love and affection given and received from both partners, the marriage can lead to destruction to the point of divorce.
Try to understand your spouse’s love language and water your relationship daily with a cup of affection!
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:3
3. Pray for His Sexuality
When you live In a world where bodies are over-sexualized, it becomes timid to walk with your husband in general places where women who do not know Christ are flaunting every single body part that you can think of. You honestly wonder what they are even covering up? You may also clinch inside and slightly gaze at your husband’s eyes to see If the almost zero clothed women all around caught his eyes and questioned his thoughts regarding temptation. Temptation is beyond just touching; temptation and cheating can start in the mind, too. Are the thoughts that your husband carries pure? Will they be pure when you are both lying down at the end of the day, ready for bed or will he try to fantasize about what he witnessed hours before?
I suggest three prayer requests in this section.
- Pray for their purity and mind.
- Pray for deliverance in temptation.
- Pray for the marriage bed.
God willing, marriage is long. You have been with the same person for decades and are to be faithful to your spouse for all that time. You both know that changes have occurred in character, wants, and physical bodies. Sometimes, you are not the same people y’all both were when y’all first met, and that is okay! It is good to grow in all areas of your life and normal to age in the process. In the process, youthful temptations walk daily around y’all and can cause impure thoughts in your mind that can become a reality if you do not pray on behalf of your husband and yourself. I include you because when a lengthy marriage becomes difficult, it can be thought to question your decisions throughout the marriage, especially in those seasons when no affection is given and received. It can make you vulnerable to anyone willing to provide you with any attention and open the door to temptation. So again, I say to pray for you and your husband on purity, deliverance in temptation, and the marriage bed. Pray that there are no desires for anyone but God and the marriage that He has formed. Pray that you and your husband see these naked people as lost souls who are broken and moved by demonic spirits. Have a heart cry for such broken, unfaithful people.
Even when you are upset with your husband, do not go a long period angry and deprive your husband of sex at the same time because, in loneliness, temptation shows up. It Is mentioned in 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 to not deprive each other of sex because your body is not your own when you are married, and Satan can come and mess with your marriage because of the lack of self-control.
Now, there is another thing that could happen in this situation, too. Life! Life can be extremely busy, especially if you have kids and both partners work. Prioritize sex! You both need it to release those happy chemical hormones in your bodies and to grow close through the intimacy shared. That is your puzzle-piecing connection time to refill for the days to come and relax now, embracing one another. Sex is an act of worship when you are married, so if it is expressed highly not to deprive each other in the marriage bed, then don’t! Pray that God will bring you a healthy sex drive with your partner and vice versa. Pray that you both will prioritize the time, even if it’s on a schedule, and pray for spontaneous moments, too! Let your husband meet your needs, and you meet your husband’s needs.
The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
1 Corinthians 7:4-5
Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are human eyes.
Proverbs 27:20
So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever[a] you want.
Galatians 5:16-17
On reaching the place, he said to them, “Pray that you will not fall into temptation.”
Luke 22:40
Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
Mark 14:38
4. Pray for His Mind
If we are one and are affected by each other’s decisions and life choices, we should consider each other’s minds when praying. Praying over your husband’s mind is vital because his mind can determine anything from the small things of life to the big things of life. Here are a few areas that you can pray for in his mind.
- Choices
As a man, your husband, who is called to be the head of the home under God, you, as a wife, must be able to trust God and your husband with decisions made on behalf of the whole family. No matter how big or small the decision, it somehow affects the family. If your husband chooses to change his career, the location of your home, a new lifestyle of overeating with no exercise, and lack of self-control in areas that need it, it can affect the house. Pray that your husband will have desires aligned with God’s will. Desires that make him whole and bring a positive dynamic into the home. Pray that God will lead his thoughts in the right direction and that your husband always chooses to do the right thing.
- Past
The past can be a trigger to those who have faced trauma. Trauma that was never forgiven and healed and yet lingered on the individual every day, causing them to make the decisions they make. Trauma can also drive people to become their best selves in the areas opposite of what they received growing up, but it lacks the character values essential to people they love.
If your husband has ever gone through something in the past and you can see it in broad daylight through the trail of pain that carries in certain areas of his life, or maybe to the point where he has triggers and attitude appears alongside it, then pray for his past. Pray that he will receive the healing and forgiveness that he needs so that he can be released from the bondage and oppression that has had him for some time.
Pray for the past with other partners that he had before you. That he will not put past pains and insecurities from them on you; pray that his memory from their sexual encounters will be washed away from his mind and that he will be made new in Jesus’ name.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
Revelation 21:4
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4:22-24
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
2 Corinthians 5:17
- Attitude
I know this one can be a huge one for many women. Everyone has a right to express their emotions, but it is difficult not to become defensive and respond when they turn their attitude towards you. You need to pray for your attitude, too, but sometimes, when we are in defense, we forget that God is our defender and that his Word of truth is our defense. He has given us the body Armor in Ephesians 6, and we are to use it in spiritual warfare, such as when we try to defend ourselves. In these moments, you need to let your husband have his moment to process, but you need to gain self-control to regain your mind with God’s Word and start praying. Start rebuking your angry, defensive emotions that can cut like a sword. Start speaking life and declaring truth and peace in your home, car, or wherever you are at. Allow God through your prayers to bring a Heavenly presence from your act of prayer and invitation to the Holy Spirit.
The perverse of heart shall be far from me; I will have nothing to do with what is evil.
Psalm 101:4
Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die, people of Israel?
Ezekiel 18:31
- Emotions
Emotions. We all have them. It is healthy and normal to express emotions to a certain degree; in this case, I am referring to anger issues. (They can be expressed if one knows how to control their anger, but if it becomes physical and dangerous, then that is a load of praying and actions that need to be in place on behalf of you and others’ safety.) But there are other emotions that we need to pray for as well. Emotions that can lead to unhealthy lifestyles, such as depression from sadness and confusion, anxiety from fear and anxious thoughts, and even eating disorders from all the above, where one adds food for comfort rather than God or subtracts food altogether.
When we face emotions, we don’t think about what happens when we fester in them; we just try to see what happens and assume that, eventually, we will get out of it. But there are some people who find the misery emotions as a comforting ground that they want to live in because they become numb or used to the downs of life, so they become scared to live the ups that God has for them, so they stay complacent.
Well, that is unacceptable for our loved ones. If your husband has faced any of these emotions that have been exaggerated for a time, then your wife needs to step up your prayers for him and seek help on his behalf. The last thing we want is for whatever warfare that has him down to linger amongst you and possibly your children. Yes, your husband ‘can’t’ help it, but that is because he does not see or focus on the goodness of God despite life’s and downs. You need to PRAY over his mind indefinitely and PRAY that God will heal him. There is power in the name of Jesus; you are blessed and have the authority to use and declare the name of Jesus in prayer.
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.
Proverbs 22:24-25
Come near and rescue me; deliver me because of my foes.
Psalm 69:18
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.
Psalm 40:1-3
For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
Hebrews 4:12
All day long I have held out my hands to an obstinate people, who walk in ways not good, pursuing their own imaginations—
Isaiah 65:2
for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.
Corinthians 2:16
5. Pray for His Health
I know that in our prayers, we can often pray over our health as if we are skimming through pages of a book because the prayer has become regular, and it’s just something that you should say to make your prayer sound complete. Today, I want you to devote a prayer to your husband’s health in a way that is different from your usual go-to prayer. When you begin to pray for his health, ask God to shift desires in his body to honor the body that God has given him by healthy eating, exercise, spiritual meditating/praying, and fasting. Ask God to give your husband mindfulness over his health and what he puts in the temple where God resides. Pray that you will be a good wife to join him in the healthy lifestyle changes and encourage your husband to continue, making him feel that he is not alone and can continue. And pray that through your husband’s lifestyle change to honor the body he is blessed with; God will continue to nourish his health for all the days of his life.
Let me add that if you have a husband who is currently facing health issues, then you pray without ceasing. You do not become faint in heart, but you have faith, even if it is a mustard seed, to stand up against the enemy on behalf of your husband. You keep declaring truth and praising God for the victory that is on your side. Remember who your Father is, whom you serve, and call Daddy. He is a force not to be reckoned with. He will come through for his children. So, you keep praying! You are not alone in this season.
He said, “If you listen carefully to the Lord your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, who heals you.”
Exodus 15:26
But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the Lord, ‘because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.’
Jeremiah 30:17
Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.
Jerimiah 17:14
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
Ecclesiastes 3:3
6. Pray for His Protection
Every day that your husband wakes up is a gift. Every day that he goes out of the home and comes back is a true blessing. No matter what profession your husband works, life happens all around us with people who are not living the same life as a believer in Christ, leaving your husband in the arms way of potential harm. BUT GOD! Yes, your Heavenly Father has the final say over your husband’s life. He is the author of our story, and He goes before your husband daily with angels and His protection, allowing your husband to come back home safely to you and your family. God doesn’t merely protect him for your sake but because He loves him and will always protect His son. So, because our Father loves His son, you ought to pray for him. Pray over your husband when he is asleep and resting for a new day. Thank God for the promises He has already established for and through his son that must play out. Pray for your husband’s timing in every decision he makes to leave and that he is in the right place at the right time. Pray for his encounters with others and that they are fruitful. Pray that your husband has discernment on every occasion and decision. When you think you have prayed everything that you could think of for protection, then pray some more and thank God over the days he came home and the protection he is unaware of to allow him to return home safely.
The wicked lie in wait for the righteous, intent on putting them to death; but the Lord will not leave them in the power of the wicked or let them be condemned when brought to trial.
Psalm 37:32-33
“Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.
Proverbs 30:5
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
Psalm 91:11-12
7. Pray for His Relationships
The other day, I was in the kitchen and randomly felt led to pray for my husband’s friends. I prayed for their future and the choices they make. I prayed for their future spouses and children. I prayed for their health. And I prayed for their purity. I then prayed that my husband would be a good steward over their friendship and would also feel led to speak life and pray over them. Their friendship could grow healthily, sharpening one another with the Word of God.
Why did I pray for them? After realizing how deep I was in prayer and tears, I remembered the words I prayed and thought, “Why have I not prayed over them before? These people bring my husband joy; he is always on the phone or out and about with them, so I should have been praying for them. Especially when they are single men who have a single lifestyle.” Yes, I talk out loud a lot, but I was shocked by the lack of thought in praying for these everyday people in his life. But who else are the everyday people in life who have an impact on him?
Friends, Family, and Co-workers are living life daily with your husband. Think about how many hours your husband spends away at work. How many hours does your husband try to see friends and family, even if it’s on the phone? All those hours added up are many hours with people pouring into your husband and making an impact. Is it a healthy pour-in? We are not sure because we are not with them, but that is why we should pray for their relationships to become wholeness in the body of Christ, and that their relationships will bring glory and honor to God from their purity. Their relationships will also be founded on God so that there is no deception of any kind.
If there is someone who your husband is close to, pray for them and their relationship!
The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Proverbs 12:26
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
2 Corinthians 6:14
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
1 John 1:7
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:24-25
8. Pray for His Fatherhood
“The way a man related to dad will often affect how he related to His Father God[i]”
My husband used to say that before he knew who God really was, as a child, he admired his grandfather so much that, looking back at it, he can honestly admit that he saw him as a God. His grandfather raised him and provided for him. He was the father figure he did not have when his dad left. Honestly, his grandfather was his world. His grandfather knew my husband better than his own mother and would explain to people why my husband, as a kid, was the way he was.
After he was brave enough to admit that out loud, it became clear to me, as well, after losing my dad, that he was a “Father” figure to me, too. After my healing process, I realized that everything that I grieved that I lost when he passed away was all the qualities that our Heavenly Father had and were placed in my daddy. God was loving me through him, and it was the best earthly love to receive—an unconditional love that was so great. I can say I was held here on earth by greatness because of him.
Reflecting on the love I received from my daddy, I told my husband one night how our boys are grateful for him and how much they love him. Although my husband is deployed a lot, he is very much present in their lives, but he questioned me about my remarks. I then responded to him confidently, telling him that how they feel and act around him is a relatable feeling I once had as a child towards my daddy. The mannerisms shown through each child would bring a memory from my childhood that I felt towards my daddy, which was weird to have those sudden feelings and emotions relived. Still, I believe it was meant to assure my husband that no matter how much he is away providing for the family, he is very much loved and missed. I feel that it is best to express the relatable experience to my husband now while he is here than never allowing him to hear it ever in his life.
I say all this because, although I had a parent who knew how to discipline when he needed to and worked all the time until he was sick, he was still a present parent who loved his daughters very much. That love that we received, which was also shared with many cousins in my family whose fathers walked out on them, was a love that cannot be taken away; in his love followed actions that raised us all to be the people we are today. His passion helped in the healing process for many and brought guidance. His love ensured that we were up for church, and if he was too sick to go, he gathered the whole family around the bed to read the bible and pray. (Each one of us took turns to pray!).
It is important to pray over his fatherhood journey because the man you chose to be your children’s father will represent your Heavenly Father in many ways, as he should since he is made in the image of God. He will stop generational curses, if any, and lead a new generation through you. Your husband and his actions will be seen in your children, and they will grow to make their own decisions based on what they have seen growing up, what they desire to obtain from what they witness through yall’s marriage, and how they want to live their lives. Praying for your husband’s fatherhood allows the Holy Spirit to guide him in the upbringing of the Lord’s children, who are temporary gifts to us. Your husband needs your prayers because he is living life for the first time, trying to figure out what to do in his own life, let alone is responsible for his children’s lives as well. Never stop praying for his journey as a parent. He is the head of the home and, if you have noticed, he is highly respected by your children. Pray that he will be a good steward to y’all’s children and that he will be a good leader to them. Pray that he would model what a faithful follower of Christ looks like and that he will raise his children up in the Lord with prayer, fellowship, guidance, bible reading, worship, and more. This is a daily prayer that needs not to be neglected because there are times when you and your husband may not agree on parenting styles and decisions. Still, you will have to pray daily and allow God to bring you both together as one in raising these children together on one accord.
because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.
Proverbs 3:12
Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.
Proverbs 29:17
And, “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters,
says the Lord Almighty.”2 Corinthians 6:18
9. Pray for his mouth (Spoken Words)
Sister, I know that every day with your husband is not as blissful as you imagined as a child, but I want to encourage you on those days to pray. You have self-control because it is one of the fruits of the spirit that God has given you, so use that fruit in the seasons when it feels that the only communication you have with your husband is through arguing. Train yourself to rely on the Holy Spirit to keep you in a Heavenly realm of peace and self-control so that you may not fall short in the traps of the enemy in your emotions, saying things you cannot take back. Especially curse words. Did you know that curse words are curse words you speak over and at your husband? Yes, I was told that during a heated postpartum breakdown with my husband, and I could not believe that I, for one, cursed in the first place, but two, that I cursed out to my husband.
Honestly, nothing good comes out of a mouth that is moved by anger and other uncontrollable emotions. I say uncontrollable now because there are times when some of us have our emotional breakdowns from any unknown trigger that leads us to rant at our loved ones. So, I want first to ask you to pray for self-control over yourself and then your mouth. Following the prayer over yourself, pray for your husband. Pray that he is reminded that every word that comes from his mouth will be accounted for in front of his Heavenly Father and that he should be mindful of the words he chooses to speak out loud because of the weight they hold. Pray that what he says will not cause harm but be fruitful, bearing life and truth to those he speaks to. Ask God to help y’all together to speak wholesome and loving to one another because y’all genuinely love one another and would never want to hurt each other with such words. And most importantly, pray that God will allow a heart change for you and your husband so that you both will desire to pray over and with each other.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens(1)
a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak(7)
Ecclesiastes 3:1,7
Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.
Ecclesiastes 5:2
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.
Proverbs 21:19
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.
Proverbs 29:11
10. Pray for His Purpose
Have you ever felt like you were living life and that it was going nowhere but just repeating? Has that feeling ever left you feeling incomplete or that you were “just here,” leaving you to question life? Then suddenly, God revealed Himself to you in a whole new way, and you regained your life and felt that you had a purpose in living. Your husband, being the man of the house and maybe feeling like the sole provider working a job that might not have been his dream job to support his family, may leave him a place that you once were familiar with. A place without purpose. If that is the case, or you see that your husband always seems like he is not doing what he is called to do and/ or he is always wanting to fulfill a certain empty feeling with random temporary fixes that have you wondering if he is facing a mid-life crisis then this is the very moment where you need to stop and just pray for your husband. Pray that God will reveal his purpose to him. The purpose that he was predestined to walk in when he was beautifully created for. Pray that you as a wife can be an encourager in some way to your husband, reminding him that he was created for a reason, loved on, worth being killed for on a wooden cross because of the Will of God through him for not just the Kingdom, but for God Himself. Explain to your husband how important he is to the house and well needed in the home, but more importantly, that you want to see the healthy version of himself who is truthfully living the life God called him to live. If your husband has a complex time understanding, continue to pray for God’s plans to be revealed to him in ways he cannot ignore. Ask God to spark a fire of passion in his soul so that he will desire to seek God and live a wholesome life of purpose.
I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
1 Corinthians 7:7,17
May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.Psalm 20:4
In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.
Ephesians 1:11-12
He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time,
2 Timothy 1:9
11. Pray for His Work
As you pray for his purpose, you should pray for your husband’s work.
No matter what field your husband works in, it is a demanding field that requires a lot of his time away from his family and forces him to work with peers who can be an influence on how his day is, not to mention the toll it has on his body when and if he works a manual job that demands a lot of physical work, a job that puts him on the frontlines, risking his life daily for others, yet harming his mental health in the long run. His work may be such time and energy-consuming that even when he comes home on time, when he is home, he may only have an ounce of energy to give his family before he must go to sleep and receive rest for the next day.
Pray to God and ask God if your husband’s career choice aligns with the will of the Father. Pray for your husband’s health as he goes to work daily, putting his body through much labor for the sake of his boss’s company and to maintain the necessities of life. If he is in the right field, pray that he is reminded that he is where he needs to be for a reason and that in his time at work, God has him there to grow and spread the gospel through the encounters of his co-workers. Pray that his work relationships are peaceful and that he will find joy in the field that he is in. If the work field does not glorify God, but your husband is motivated by money and incentives, then pray that God will remove him from the workplace with another job of God’s choosing ready and with open doors. Pray about your finances, but thank God he is the provider and will care for every need. In your prayers, thank God for the good health and/ or restored health he has given your husband to work such a job. Thank God for the rest he receives every night for the next day and the protection placed on him in his service at work. Thank God your husband has a calling in his life and is not a lazy man who will lose out but a worker for the Lord who will lack nothing.
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.
Colossians 3:23
The craving of a sluggard will be the death of him, because his hands refuse to work.
Proverbs 21:25
The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
Psalm 34:10
12. Pray for His Priorities
“If God and spouse aren’t clearly top priorities in your life, your husband will have less incentive to make them in his.[i]”
Now and then, both spouses can get caught up in work, outside people, and hobbies and prioritize those things above God, each other (spouse), and family. This can make the balance that once worked for your relationship and home off and create chaos in areas that need more attention than others. This means that if you and your husband put hobbies, careers, and even the children above each other, that can create problems such as lack of attention, leading to jealousy, anger, sadness, and bitterness. Then, there is a lack of communication and time spent with each other, which can create a distance neither spouse needs, with temptation all around and trust/self-worth issues. No relationship needs such insecurities because of the lack of effort and desire to prioritize one’s life for a healthy marriage. If you see that you and your husband fall into one of these, then pray that God will put desires on each heart to prioritize the necessities in life to maintain a healthy life. Pray that your husband would put God above all, even if it goes against your wants, and that he is genuinely led so that he would have you prioritized rightfully under God with your family following. Pray that your husband would have time to himself in a healthy manner to hangout out with friends or do a hobby that he enjoys, but again, pray that he manages his time well and that it becomes a healthy lifestyle for him and his relationship with God as well as his family unit.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:33
not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Philippians 2:4
13. Pray for His Future
We do not know the time or day of our last breath, but we do know that it is something that we all face. We also know that the future can be unpredictable, with unexpected twists and turns while navigating our present life. One thing I suggest when you as a wife feel like there are so many unknown future events that can happen or will take place is to try not to stress about the future but to pray and thank God for His Spirit. When you want to pray for that specific house or for your student loans and mortgage to be paid off, living debt-free, remember to praise God for all the promises you know in your future. Pray for revelation, perspective, a desire to seek God, and visions that glorify God so that your husband walks into the promised future God wants and has for him. Remember to praise God that you or your husband are not blindsided by what is coming because you have a Holy Spirit that prepares and goes ahead of you for the places you are coming to. Pray over your husband and that he is in tune with the Spirit, following His lead so that he is where he needs to be In a secure future.
Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint; but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom’s instruction.
Proverbs 29:18
Evildoers do not understand what is right, but those who seek the Lord understand it fully.
Proverbs 28:5
14. Pray for His Hearing and Sight
I cannot stress this enough, but praying for your husband all around is including a prayer over his hearing, mind, and sight. Do you remember that Sunday school song, “Be careful little eyes what you see… be careful little ears what you hear.. for the bible tells you so be careful little (eyes/ears) what you (see/hear)?” That song is super important to any believer of God because it is true for our everyday walk as believers in Christ. We must be careful about what we reveal to ourselves because perversion seen in just a glimpse can open a portal in your mind for the enemy to try to tempt you. Even the things that you hear. What music are you and your family listening to? Does it glorify God? Some songs have lyrics and instruments that are not pleasing to God that the enemy uses to lure people into a mental state of trying to encourage bad behavior or press on their emotions that make the audience who listen to the music feel as if they are more down and suffering mentally then they did before. It may not be music; it can be the company of a lousy friend known to gossip. That person’s gossip or perspective on an individual can influence how you see that individual, which may not be accurate from what was said about them. I say this repeatedly to anyone I see but pray over your husband’s hearing and sight. Ask God to open his eyes to see the Spiritual warfare before him so that your husband can see the demonic warfare around him and in others so that he can rightfully pray what the Holy Spirit wants to pray through him. Pray that God will allow him to see strangers dressed provocatively as lost souls, that he can rightfully love them as God loves them without snare judgment, and again, he can pray accordingly. Pray for his hearing that he may always hear God and can do as God called him to do. To speak what the Holy Spirit is saying through him.
You need to pray over your husband in these areas. Remember that what he hears and sees from God can guide his walk with God and guide him as a leader in your home.
but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.
Proverbs 1:33
For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.
Matthew 13:15
However, as it is written:
“What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” the things God has prepared for those who love him.
1 Corinthians 2:9
15. Pray for His Walk
Finally, let’s pray for your husband’s walk. Pray for his everyday walk in Christ and that the Holy Spirit leads him on a righteous path to eternal life. As we have gone through the many topics to pray about on behalf of your husband, you may have noticed that each topic affects his daily choices, which can affect his walk with God. And though temptation, tiredness, and mental illness appear great around him, and maybe through experiences too, remember and remind him that God is more significant. We see sin today and claim that there are no good people and that the world is getting worse, but in Ecclesiastes, Soloman said that there is nothing new under the sun to God. Life may seem discouraging with what we are now exposed to, such as sin shown through the media and these devices, but when it appears that the enemy is winning and has taken over, remember who your Father is. He is a heavenly Father who has already won. God our Father is the Alpha and Omega who has declared victory and has the final say. He is the same God bringing MIGHTY children up in His ways, the ways we are created. Your husband is one of those children. Continue to pray for your husband and his walk, but remember to praise God for His victory over your husband and His child! Pray that your husband’s heart is fully surrendered to God and that his heart repents, forgives, serves, surrenders, is obedient, delivered, healed, and faithful. Most importantly, he has a heart that is undeniably in love with his Father, who is Love. Those qualities to have in such a small vessel hold greater weight in the eyes of our Father. PRAY for such things, and he will never depart from our Lord.
And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness; it will be for those who walk on that Way. The unclean will not journey on it; wicked fools will not go about on it.
Isaiah 35:8
Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
Galatians 5:25
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
John 14:6
Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith let it be done to you
Matthew 9:29
PRAYER
Father, I come before you praying for my sister in Christ, that you would be with her right now as she’s in a place where she doesn’t know how to pray for her husband. I pray that you would give her a committed desire to pray for her husband daily. Father, with even these topics that we went over, I pray that you would guide her in your beautiful Holy Spirit to allow her to dive deep in your presence and be led to pray for what needs to be prayed over her husband. Let her not give up on her husband, as she is a required partner in the union between you and him in this marriage. I pray, Father God, that she will know her rightful place and that she will know that you are in the center of their life and that she could come to you and give her life as well as her marriage to you, surrendering it all, Lord. Remind her that you are the foundation that needs to be laid out under them, holding them together, and that you are the alpha and Omega in the marriage. I pray that you would touch her heart to be steadfast in prayer on behalf of her husband who needs you, Lord, and who needs your spirit, Lord, so that he may be changed to be more like you. I pray that she, as a wife, best friend, and sister in Christ to her husband, will be encouraged to keep going even when it is difficult and that she will not take things personally and become defensive but that you will allow her to be aware of what is spiritually happening and that she will be an encouragement to her husband in needed times, especially on those days when it feels like she’s being attacked or that her marriage is just a failure. Give her a heart to trust in you, Lord, that she made vows to you and that you will show up and present yourself as the father who is going to change this marriage for the good to glorify you in the Kingdom. Father, please touch her. Lord, please give her courage, strength, and hope, and let her be faithful to her vows to you as well as the husband of her role as a wife so that she completes this mission and that when she presents herself to you, Lord when you come back for your bride that she can be blameless Father God and pure and faithful in your sight. Father God, allow her to surrender and love her husband to death and do her part. Father, I pray for my sister’s heart and mind to be shifted like yours and moved spiritually so that she would be the wife that you called her to be, ready for the day that you come to bring her home. In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.
Testimony
I read the book “The Power of A Praying Wife” when I was pregnant with my third back-to-back-to-back baby, and my husband was away in the Academy for Law Enforcement, facing sciatica and loneliness. He was away for seven months and would come almost every Friday night to leave for the next night. The problem is that he came EXHAUSTED and had no time for me. When we tried to have time together, it only led to arguing to the point where we would not talk for the remaining hours he was there. I did not see our marriage working on many levels of the past that we endured and the pain from not healing and unforgiveness. I was OVER IT! I wanted out. (Not really, but I felt I deserved more than what I was receiving from even the years before). I questioned God about whether I was meant to marry him after I heard God clear day that he was my husband and we were to have children. While facing difficult seasons, which seemed like a few years of being in the same season, I came across this book most uniquely. I ordered this book, not realizing that my husband months prior was reading and discussing his copy of “The Power of A Praying Husband” and that this was the same author that wrote “The Power Of A Praying Parent,” which I was blessed to discover in the apartment we moved into and found out was pregnant two weeks later.
This book was meant to be read, and it was powerfully transforming my prayer life, guided by my sister in Christ, who wrote it, and the Holy Spirit. I couldn’t believe the insight I was blessed with and the changes I witnessed in my marriage through that time. This moved my marriage to the point where when I saw my marriage heading in a tough season, I decided to dedicate a WHOLE month to praying for my husband and my marriage, but mainly my husband. I knew the enemy would come at me with tactics to try to diminish my hope for my marriage and growth, and boy, did he come. But the Holy Spirit came amid my trials and led me in the most miraculous way to keep going.
I kept going and saw places in my heart transform. God told me that I needed to love my husband unconditionally, like His love for me, and I knew that I had to take a step further in my month of praying for my husband to add myself to the prayer to be changed to become more like Christ. He revealed areas in my life that I thought I was mature until maturity was faced in being used for my husband. Reality check, for sure.
In the process and the finish, I learned to persevere when I wanted to quit praying. I realized that I needed to see my husband as a child of God, the way God sees him. I knew that I needed to be more selfless in areas where I had control over my life and that I was defenseless.
If you have never dedicated a month to praying for your husband, make that change today! You may experience trials but focus on the end goal—the big finish! This journey is about praying for your husband’s Salvation—praying for his life and your marriage. It is about consistently growing a healthy lifestyle of serving through prayer and declaring truth over the head of the home.
You were made to be a praying wife in your season as a wife.
PRAY
Scriptures
Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.
Psalm 62:5
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12
The Armor of God
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.
Ephesians 6:10-20
Resources
[1,2,3] Omartian, S. (2017). The power of a praying wife. Harvest House Publishers.
