The Importance of Establishing Quiet Time For Toddlers: “God told me to let them hear His voice.”
Inspiration:
The week before Thanksgiving, I remembered how noisy my environment was, even when the house was not as loud as it seemed. I felt sensitive to the noise for the first time and noticed how anxious I was becoming. Pick a toddler (let me remind you I have a 3, 2, and 1-year-old toddlers) throwing tantrums and begging for me to put music on. I suddenly started to become emotionally unstable, not understanding what was going on. Suddenly, it was the week of Thanksgiving. After the continuous moodiness that the whole house was experiencing, I realized that I was overstimulated, just like the toddlers, and was coming to a place of wondering why I could not hear from God and receive the peace I needed to be a good mother to my cubs. Suddenly, just after my tears poured out to God, questioning where I went wrong or maybe my approach and parenting methods from 7:00 am to 10:35 am, my oldest begged for the fifth time for me to put on music. I then said to him, without the effort of creating the sentence, “We are not putting music on for the rest of the week; we need quiet time, and as a family, we are going to learn how to be still and hear God’s voice and listen.” Now, I believe that had to be the Holy Spirit moving in me because where else did that come from? My toddlers did not argue with my response; thankfully, I said it calmly. Still, I realized that although my household is one household that is Highly limited to TV time (I mean, they maybe watch ONLY 25 minutes of TV on Saturdays IF I feel like I need to do something around the house and need them to sit), I realized that our household replaced Tv with music and audio stories that the noise itself playing almost throughout the day started to become an issue in the home. {By the way, it was not always like that, but when your toddler asks to listen to music, and you play it, or you, as the Mama, want to listen to something, then your husband and your other kids… you will be surprised how much noise has consumed your day}.
Needless to say, after such an impactful moment, I felt led to share the importance of establishing quiet time in your home with your toddlers and older children, too!
Spiritual Benefits
Hearing God’s voice:
Teaching your toddler that it is okay to have quiet time is essential if you want them to hear God’s voice for themselves. Learning to hear from God is vital for their everyday life here on earth and, most importantly, their eternal life in Heaven. God’s voice brings clarity, discernment, wisdom, answers, and a relationship.
Did you know that throughout the Bible, people drew away from crowds and noise to be alone, and that is when they encountered God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit? Did you know that even Jesus drew away from people and needed alone time to hear clearly from God?
Jesus Prays in a Solitary Place
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.
Mark 1:35
She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.
Luke 10:39
God wants us to have a time of silence:
We must teach our toddlers that there is a time to speak and a time to be silent. It is not to be harsh, but they must learn that talking too much can be a bad thing if they never learn to take a minute to listen to their thoughts (Holy Spirit speaking), listen to communicators as they are talking without interrupting them or quickly having a response back without processing what was communicated, and can show lack of self-control. (Yes, these are toddlers, but we must teach them these habits daily so they can develop self-control and healthy communication with themselves and others).
Have someone ever asked, “Did you hear what I was saying, or were you listening?”
I was asked that question many times in life but never understood it because I thought listening and hearing were the same until I caught myself walking by a neighbor who spoke to me. I quickly replied to him, but the problem was, I didn’t know what he said in the first place. I was only a few steps away from him when I quickly glanced back to see him confused and rushed out of the scene, knowing that the neighbor knew that I did not pay attention or “listen” to him but just responded something random…
OR
Have you ever noticed that when your toddler gets excited and wants to tell you something, they start to stutter and murmur to where you, Mama cannot understand a word they are saying? My professors noticed I developed a stuttering habit when I would overtalk with excitement, and they would stop me in my tracks to give me a time of silence to calm down and breathe so that I could talk with clarity and understanding.
It’s okay to tell your toddler nicely that there needs to be silence for an appropriate duration because they need to learn basic processing skills of listening, processing, and responding to others. These are the same skills they will need when they are in their waiting season with God and the same skills when they need answers.
*{This can be very helpful when you need to communicate with them after a time-out session or a disciplinary session}
“ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak”
Ecclesiastes 3:7
He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.
Listening and Doing
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
James 1:18-20
Be silent before the Sovereign Lord,
for the day of the Lord is near.
The Lord has prepared a sacrifice;
he has consecrated those he has invited.
Zephaniah 1:7
Peace:
Quiet time establishes peace. Time can be measured differently by the way you look at it. For instance, God created the earth in six days. His period of creation was six days, yet He knew that He had to establish a rest day in His time of creation for us to mirror that we, too, need time to rest. Suppose you look at our daily lives and take it from a toddler perspective who cannot merely grasp the concept of time like an adult. In that case, their clocks in the day feel like forever, and when they are being taught new things, growing minute by minute, then it is easy for them to become overstimulated through the business of the day, but just like how God needed rest, so do our toddlers. In a 12-hour day, your toddler needs to learn that there are periods where they need just to be still and relax. How can they hear from God if they are everywhere? Honestly, toddlers want to have breaks from doing something, but because teachers or parents are always on the go doing many tasks, toddlers never learn how to be still and receive the peace that their bodies naturally want and need. Tantrums are not just because your toddler is upset with not having their way; they are built-up emotions that eventually erupt through one trigger, and that is all because your toddler never received the stillness, rest, and peace they needed. Implement a routine where quiet time is included so that you can bring peace to your toddler and allow your toddler to grow a healthy habit of understanding that no matter how old they are, their peace needs to be protected and that they need a break from the world for 30 minutes to 1hour a day. Peace is also suitable for mental health as well
“Be still, and know that I am God”
Psalm 46:10
Be still before the Lord
and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Psalm 37:7
Heart gesture
When you allow your toddler to hear from God and learn to be in a place where they want to be with Him or that they are content, it can develop self-confidence as they are in tune with the presence of God, who defines and boldly clarifies to them who they are in whichever way He does it. With self-confidence, you can assure yourself that your toddler is gaining a sense of identity and who they are in Christ. Yes, it may take years after their journey, but they have a Holy Spirit Compass to direct them back to their beginnings, where the seed was planted and the roots run deep.
Their heart changes to know wrong from right, and they gain empathy and compassion. They can learn to appreciate their surroundings, blessings, and people. They learn from their changing hearts and emotions and can learn how to cope with their big emotions without feeling alone. They can have someone to go to or someone who is naturally everywhere because they know that God lives in their heart. It can make them grow awareness of their emotions and choose healthy ways to overcome them so that they can reduce the chance of facing anxiety or depression or just outburst tantrums.
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.
Ezekiel 36:26-27
The Lord your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live.
Deuteronomy 30:6
I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.
1 Corinthians 3:6
Establishing Priority and Valuing Relationship
It is vital to show your child the importance of quiet time through modeled behavior. Prioritizing this time or throughout the day with them shows them that God is a priority you value above all else. When you read your Bible, worship, and pray with your toddler, you give them a first-hand fellowship experience. You state that the home is safe to express your love for God and that your toddler is welcome to share their life with God and you. So, when your toddler sees you reading your word during quiet time (even if you have a 1hour session of quiet time and schedule 15 minutes out of the hour to read in the same area as them or quietly pray with them or around them), you are normalizing a healthy lifestyle that you both need that quiet time to be with God and that the body that the Holy Spirit resides in craves that time with God because the body was created with His purpose and that is to glorify and be in one with Him. You cannot have that oneness relationship if you never have time to be alone in one with Him. By saying this, it is important to teach your toddler that God is a priority and needs their full attention without any distractions and that the only way to do that is to have quiet time made out for Him.
{In a fun way, you can tell your toddler, “Are you ready to spend time with God? He wants to hang out with you in the room. You can talk, play, pray, and worship Him there. He just wants to hang out with you!”}
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.
Psalm 143:8
*Let your toddler know that they can Spiritually have quiet or alone time with God anywhere because God lives in them and is in everything. Teach them the 4 O’s, “Omnipotence: God is all-powerful; Omniscience: God is all-knowing and has infinite awareness, understanding, and insight. Omnipresence: God is everywhere at the same time; and Omnibenevolence: God is all-loving[i][ii]” *
Identity, Clarity, & Guidance
As you can see, I am all about identity in Christ and guidance, as I have mentioned more than once, but it is essential. Quiet time with God allows the Holy Spirit to direct your ways, answer questions, and a time for you to get to know your Heavenly Father, who created you in His image, which is the image and qualities that naturally live in you through Him. His characteristics and seal of adoption ship when he knitted you in the womb, declared ownership over you, and stated who you are. God has made you to be set apart, different from the world. Now, how does this tie in with your toddler? Well, although your toddler is aged as just a young child or nearly a baby, they too belong to God and were set apart, made different from the world, and need to learn how to know who their Heavenly Father is and who they are created. They need to be aware and confidently know their identity before the world tries to tell them or confuse them later. (Especially if you send your toddler and/or children to daycare and school).
*{Simply displaying Fruits of the Spirits charts with age-appropriate pictures, bible story books, Christian books, bible coloring worksheets, Christian puzzles, and Christian toys are encouraged to be used during quiet time. You can add some of their favorite stuffed animals, books, or characters to the mix, but just including Christian-based activities is an open door for them. You might have to start quiet time with a bible reading or Christian book and explain the story or even the bible coloring sheet message, but that only lasts about 7-10 minutes from 30 to an hour session. While you are at it, try to have them look in a mirror while dressing up and speaking words of affirmation to themselves. They may not understand it now, but they also practice speaking the truth over themselves and speaking life over others.}
Amazon.com : Christian toddler gifts
Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.”
Galatians 4:6
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Ephesians 3:16-19
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:12-17
You are to be holy to me because I, the Lord, am holy, and I have set you apart from the nations to be my own.
Leviticus 20:26
The word of the Lord came to me, saying,
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
“Alas, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”
But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord.
Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.”
Jeremiah 1:4-10
Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself;
the Lord hears when I call to him.
Psalm 4:3
Other benefits alongside Spiritual benefits.
Independent play:
Independent play encourages toddlers to learn to entertain themselves, play alone, and create independence. While toddlers learn independence, they also develop cognitive skills through problem-solving, creativity, and imagination alone.
As a parent who monitors their toddler during this time, you can hear your toddler’s imagination as they play alone, and you can see their interest by observing the toys they play with, the books they read, hearing the songs that they love to sing, and random thoughts they express through words and creativity.
I know that their independent play time is considered alone time to you, but always keep watch of your toddler because, this time, their thought process is also curious and can create ideas that a toddler wants to pursue. Your toddler also needs to know that you are there to support them if they need it. *I also want to encourage you to enjoy these innocent years. *
Understanding & Controlling Emotions:
Sensory overload occurs when someone is overstimulated by their environment. This can include noise, experiencing many emotions at once, too much business in activities and schedules, and more. Due to a toddler, even adults (yes, you, Mama), emotions can spiral out of control to where the toddler and maybe Mama are throwing tantrums towards each other, leaving you and Mama feeling depleted. The great news, though, is that during quiet time, your toddler has a chance to get a sensory break, feel their emotions, and learn to regulate them by self-soothing hacks, which include breathing exercises, outside time, words of affirmation, hugging it out, praying, rocking themselves in a rocking chair or rocker, and whatever self-soothing techniques that you have already established for your toddler.
{What helped me with my toddlers is that I have a time-out area for any physical action that has brought harm to someone, which is the hallway, then I have a calm down room, which is also their quiet time area where if I notice that my toddler is uncontrollable with their emotions, then I tell them to go calm down in their room, or I carry them there. They will still be upset at the moment, depending on what happened. Still, I explain to them every time that they are in the room to calm down and that they are not in trouble but that they need their space to let it all out safely without harming themselves or others and that they can come out when they are ready to talk about it. I give them a chance to talk about it and hug them before I go, but if they tell me they need space, I leave and wait for them to call me when they are ready to talk. They eventually calm down, ask to speak, and finish with a hug and kiss, but this is just an understanding of how my toddlers are with their emotions and, so far, our understanding and processing method. So far, it has worked to the point where they naturally remove themselves to go to the room after stating that they need space and to be alone from the moment they were facing. In those times, it was nice because they removed themselves first before an outburst and would ask shortly after if I could join them to just sit beside them or just hold them and every now and then talk. Please note that it took time to practice these techniques, but it became possible.}
Focus & better concentration:
Quiet time establishes a scene and environment of peace and stillness. This means putting every hyperactivity to a stop and just allowing your toddler to be still and present. Their stillness can contribute to their entire focus as all the distractions are at a halt. It can also increase their concentration on something that sparks their interest, allowing your toddler to complete a thought in the process of their focal point. Allowing the brain muscles to relax yet work healthily through thinking skills enables the brain to develop healthily.
How To Establish Quiet Time:
1. Create a positive & safe environment.
Quiet time is a safe environment where your toddler can play alone without significant concerns of harm coming to your child. This spot in the house needs to be babyproof to the T and feel safe to your child enough that they feel safe and are okay with you leaving them alone for 30 minutes to an hour. In this safe bubble, it is highly suggested that punishment should never be done in this area where they are supposed to feel secure. Punishment can bring a trigger to the child that in their alone time area, this action of screaming, time out, spanking, or whatever punishment style that you have approached is something that can occur again and again, taking away their peaceful environment and marking it with a disciplinary moment and can make your toddler not to want to be in that same place for a duration of time.
2. Be consistent
Children love routines; they thrive on them. Quiet time must be implemented in their routine; they need it daily in the exact location. Now, if you are a busy mama during quiet time, you can lay out areas where quiet time can be established, given the right tone and transition stage.
(Example: You might have your home office on the other side of the house and need to work. Set up a corner for them in the office to do activities. Or you might need to clean the front of the house and not trust them alone in their room quite yet. Then, you can have the living room as an area where they can do their alone time while you are catching up on chores. Either way, make it known to your toddler by establishing the time, restating the rules, and letting them be.
3. Have Age-appropriate activities
I know technology is everywhere, but please, no devices during this time!
This is a time for children to put away screens and battery-operated toys and sense their surroundings. The best quiet-time activities you can start with are puzzles, books, coloring books, stuffed animals, dress-up clothes, and a little box of toys.
Remember, you do not want to overstimulate your child during quiet time, so remember that “less is more.” You can start by asking them what they want to have during the time (for the first 10-15 minutes) with two other options laid out. You can go after 30 minutes and ask your toddler if they are okay, and if they want something else to entertain them that is non-noisy, then by your choice, let them have it, but toddlers usually can find many things to engage themselves in one location. Even if it gets to them taking out all their folded clothes from their drawers or not.
4. Support
Always check on your toddler and tell them you can support them if necessary. You should also let your toddler know where to find you if they need help.
(For instance, if you are doing chores and your toddler’s quiet time area is in their bedroom, then when you check in on them, just peacefully tell your toddler that you will be in the laundry room or kitchen if they need you. Or if you work from home and have an office set up, tell them you are in the office if they need you. You do not want to interrupt them throughout the whole period, but once or twice, if you will be in a prominent area for a while that will have your attention, then let them know!)
Teaching your toddler that it is okay to have quiet time is essential if you want them to hear God’s voice for themselves. Please be mindful that It is not impossible for a toddler to hear God’s voice because of their age, so please start establishing healthy lifestyle habits that allow your toddler and your home to have a relationship with God so they can hear His voice.
Cited Source
[1] The Four Omni Attributes of god. Christ Rocks. (n.d.). https://christrocks.org/the-four-omni-attributes-of-god/
[1] Google. (n.d.). Google search: Omnipotence, Omniscience, Omnipresence, Omnibenevolence.
