10 Mother’s Day Selfcare Needs Year-round!
Before Mother’s Day, you may get the thought of what you might receive on the big day. You may even ask yourself, “If I could get anything for Mother’s Day, what would it be?” Your response may vary from going to church and eating lunch at a restaurant with your family so that you can enjoy the rest of the day to you just wanting time for yourself or that everyone in the house can take all the to-dos off your list and do your role in the house for a day without bothering you. Like I said, it may vary. Even though you have those genie thoughts of a fantastic day, it is often a thought of mine as to why we only get one day out of 365 days in a year. Why, as mothers, do we prioritize everyone before ourselves? I mean, prioritize in the healthiest form for us. We try to save everyone from everything and miss out on caring for ourselves, leading to overload and burnout. And don’t you dare have a burnout in front of the ones you dedicated your life to serving because they will not understand until it is their turn with their families. Well, I know we cannot make it an everyday holiday with expectations from our family, but I would like you, mama, to make a declaration to yourself. If not daily, try to treat every day (or just that one day each week) weekly, like Mother’s Day. For the whole declaration experience, try doing things such as;
1. Spending Time with God
Remember who you are before a parent and a wife. Remember the first relationship you had before you came into this world. Your relationship with God is vital in every season of your life. Sometimes, we leave Him on the back burner, telling Him that we will get to Him at some point in the day, but remember who woke you up so that you can acknowledge Him. Remember who gave you the strength, peace, joy, good health, and blessing that could distract you from Him. Make alone time with God a priority. Our Father wants you to include Him in everything you do. You need to have those one-on-one sessions that you manage to give to everyone else around you. He is your Father and knows YOU! He KNOWS ALL ABOUT YOU! Your needs, desires, troubles, doubts, pains, health, mental/emotional/ and spiritual state, and all He wants is the time He has given you. Create an intentional and intimate relationship with Him where He is always on your lips in rejoicing or through speaking life. Learn how to hear God’s voice again. Don’t just call Him God, but call Him for who He is, Abba (Father). You need this more than anything on the list.
You can make this happen throughout your day and even include others if it fits in some encounters with His Spirit!
Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.
Joshua 1:8
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2
2. Alone time
Has someone ever told you that you needed alone time, and you questioned what that would look like because it just does not seem possible?
Sister, you are not alone in that. It almost becomes an offense because you feel like you have been making “stability of life” happen for everyone for so long but got to the point where an outsider has judged something about you to come up with such a suggestion. Or maybe you have thought about having alone time from time to time, but because you have not had it in such a long time, you get intimidated by the thought because you don’t know yourself outside of the everyday needs of others and don’t know how just to be alone.
I like to believe that I am not the only one like that, and maybe you are sighing in relief that you are not alone in that feeling. But whether it is pride or guilt, you, mama, must find time for yourself. Whether waking up 30 minutes to an hour ahead of the kids or utilizing your break time in the day and managing that time frame to where you have at least some of it to yourself, please take it! Listen to your thoughts if you have not in a long time. Hear your regular voice outside of the parenting voice or the work colleague’s voice. Or you need silence to be. Make alone time a daily must!
Jesus Prays in a Solitary Place
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.
Mark l:35
3. Outside time
Outside time might not be for every Momma out there, but spending just a bit outdoors does have beneficial perks! Outside of the bones and muscle strength from the Vitamin D that you will receive from the sun, outside time without your phone can shift your mental health, where you can clear your mind and breathe. It allows you to destress, be in tune with nature, and even receive peace.
4. Breathing exercise
Inhale
1 2 3 4 5
Exhale
“God, please help me!”
Inhale
1 2 3 4 5
Exhale
“God, please help me!”
5. Exercise
Physical health is a MUST!!! I am not talking about the “I need to look or lose this” type of physical health; I mean the mental and physical health that understands how your body wants and needs to be in good standards.
My sister says:
“You will die for your children, but are you willing to live for your children?”
Though the motivation and shift of perspective were a twist in my thinking, I suddenly wondered, “Would I live for myself?”
Sometimes, as a natural-born giver, you must remember to give yourself time to care for yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Please remember that you, Momma, are naturally aging and need to consider what your body needs physically to endure the changes occurring, whether you know it or not. If you need help figuring out where to start, research, talk to healthcare providers and dieticians, or even YouTube some videos that work with you.
Remember that your body matters, too! God allowed you to bring life into this world, and just because you’re consumed by giving them everything does not mean you have to neglect the body and vessel that the Lord has blessed you with. Be a good steward and take care of yourself!
6. Sleep
Ensure you manage your sleep hours to receive a good night of rest. At most, aim to receive 8 hours of rest, and if you can manage a nap somewhere in your day, take advantage of that time to rest. I know the phone is tempting, and everyone else’s life is at your fingertips, and catching up on a TV series is a need and your go-to for downtime, but try to set the alarm every night when you must cut everything off and fall asleep. I promise it’s rewarding. If you are good at managing that, try to take a 15–30-minute nap or relaxing time. It is manageable to make that happen during breaks or lunchtime.
(*But please do not rest for over 30 minutes because there is a chance that you will wake up more tired or cranky than before!)
7. Vitamins
Vitamins are a suggestion to include in your diet if you, mama, know you are not taking in your daily nutrition for a healthy diet. You can do things naturally through foods, great physical relaxing exercises, and mindful life changes. Still, vitamins can be essential during pregnancy and post-pregnancy if you decide to nurse your baby. Even past the pregnancy and post-care, there are benefits to taking vitamins suited to your needs. Just be sure to research what you plan on ingesting and consult with your doctor as well!
(I will say that during pregnancy, I experienced MANY muscle spasms, and through research and recommendations from my doctors, I was able to take Magnesium vitamins, which made the rest of my pregnancy enjoyable. If you ever experienced spasms such as mine, it will encourage you to be mindful of your health and remind you to take your vitamins)
8. Eat good!
You may have heard your whole life about how you need to eat healthily. Yes, this is true. What you eat can affect your hormones and your physical health. It can bring you energy and make you feel good about yourself with a refreshing feeling of goodness, yet if you eat unhealthily, you can see the result of poor health and fatigue, and you know the rest! Since we all know about essential health, I encourage you to take care of your body, but there are some moments when you are allowed to have that favorite food hidden in the back of your thoughts, wishing it could just be satisfied. Occasionally, it is okay to splurge on lunch and satisfy your craving in moderation. When you have not spent $1.00 on fast food (Restaurant included) or your favorite snacks and pastries, reward yourself occasionally with a nice treat. You deserve it!
9. Memory Lane
Looking back on your past can be complex, bittersweet, and good if managed correctly. There are things you may not want to remember and have tried to erase from your memory, which may be fit for you, but some good memories in your past may allow you to look at your present differently. Now and then, when you have free time, or even when it may seem like your house is in chaos, sit down, open your gallery, scrapbook, or memory box, and see what items you have cherished and hold on to them. Allow the memories to flood in of where you have been and where you are now. Allow the memories to sink in. Laugh, cry, and embrace your life, even if it sometimes seems chaotic. If you allow your children to sit with you and look back at photos, videos, or maybe their old baby onesies, hold your sweet babies and allow that moment to change your perspective of the time you are in and the time that we know is coming of change as we all get older!
10. Laugh
Laugh as much as you can. Open your eyes to the blessings around you and let them bring joy to your heart.
There are so many things in life that can easily distract us and create anxiety, depression, stress, and health issues, all because we allow ourselves to be super-fast-paced everywhere with unnecessary pressure on ourselves. We tend to always be on the next thing after completing a huge goal or task and not even recognize such accomplishment. We stand while eating bites of food while cooking and cleaning simultaneously, not enjoying our meal to complete our chores “on time.” We time our children with our presence and seem everywhere but present in the moment. Breathing may have been difficult because we focus on 20 things at once, and self-defense arises because you are nearly facing burnout, which has changed your attitude towards yourself and everyone around you. But this is where you must face reality, have ownership over habits created to this point, and turn the page.
RELAX! BREATHE! RELAX!
Some things are a big deal, and only some need your energy. Take care of what is in your control, and give what is not to God. And laugh!
Laugh more than the circumstances of life. Laugh because just as much as the day is new for your kids, it is new for you, too, and you must experience it with a different mindset! You can create the early years of childcare to your liking and make it to your convenience, too, without being overstimulated. Most advice I hear from children and adults is that they remember the presence and feeling loved by their parents in their early years. Not the vast details of our “they must have more than I had” thoughts to pick something we introduced to them. They want you! A healthy you that is present and loved—a mother who enjoyed her life and made them the healthy adult you inspired them to be. So, in those stressful moments, ask God to create a humor of laughter to feel yourself with Joy so that the situation does not overtake you but that you have to realize that you are in complete control and will still be joyous through it.
He will yet fill your mouth with laughter
and your lips with shouts of joy.
Job 8:21
A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22
You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
Psalms 30:11
In the end, Momma, this Is your life just as much as the lives you are blessed to serve. Please invest every part of the sweat, energy, love, time, and care in others back into your life. Seek peace and bring peace in return. Feed others, but remember to feed yourself as well. The Word of God is POWERFUL and will not fail you. Remember that outside of being a mother, wife, sister, and friend, you are a daughter to our Heavenly Father first. He is not done with you and needs you to care for yourself. Do not wait 365 days before you treat yourself to a break or to receive a 10-minute to an-hour special gesture of your yearly efforts in measure of your worth. Know your worth and appreciate whatever time God allows you to schedule some time to take care of yourself.
-Happy Mother’s Day
