How To Get Through Your First Month with a Newborn

Being a new mother or father can be challenging, especially when you do not have help from others. Instead, you are without community (family or friends) and start questioning your current journey of becoming a new parent. If you are walking in those shoes right now, or maybe you have people all around you yet still feel alone, here are some helpful tips on surviving your first month with your baby.

Sleep

You may hear this from MANY parents on your journey to becoming a parent, “sleep when the baby sleeps.” This common phrase can be challenging to apply to your life when you are still obligated to work and sustain a healthy home. The only time you can do things is when the baby is asleep. As a mother who is always trying to do all she needs

to do, please remember to do what is best for you. Sleep is essential. For us to function decently, we must rest. It helps us become more active and aware of what is happening. It also enables you to respond to everyday life more clearly than an exhausted mind.

You should not have to sleep every time your baby sleeps but give yourself and your body a break. Think of the airplane analogy. You are only good to some if you are suitable for yourself.

(For nursing mommas, please sleep and maintain good health for that golden milk supply.)

Self-Care

Speaking of being good to yourself, you deserve to pamper yourself with love as a parent of all ages. When you show yourself self-care, you are teaching your kids how important it is to love yourself first in a healthy way so that you can love them as needed.

“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

                                              (Mark 12:31).

I have only three months of experience as a new parent, but I have experienced how losing myself has affected the way I tended to my family. I was losing myself. I heard my husband tell me to take a break to do what I needed to do, but I kept telling him, “Just after I do this,” or “Let me finish this real quick,” before I knew it, I was exhausted by bedtime. I couldn’t understand how he could just be so chill in his ways of parenting while I was constantly speaking life over myself, saying, “It is going to be okay; we just have to get through this.” It was easy because he knew his self-care (working out, grooming, and video games) mattered. He made time before and after work to do something for himself before and after we traded shifts on caring for the baby. Eventually, I implemented that into my day. During naps, I would cook and shower. I would do my hair and nails if it were a good nap for the baby. I cannot tell you how good that was. When my husband got home from work, we would go on a family walk at least twice a week. He pushed the stroller, and I jogged. If I had time and energy, we would TRY and read before bed or during feedings. Self-care is essential and is possible to have. Just remember that it’s something that you implement in your day with your baby. Remember, you have accomplished a lot if you can accomplish one thing for yourself.

Breathe

This one is quite simple, yet it can take a while before parents realize they must do this. Breathe. Please take a breath of fresh air. If you are having one of those days where the baby is just not having it, please apply the 15-minute rule to your life. Put the baby in a safe place and remove it from the baby. Go outside and breathe for 15 minutes. Change your focal point, cry briefly, and remember how far you have come. Fix yourself as much as you can and return to your baby.

“This too shall pass”

           (Corinthians 4:17-18).

Becoming a new parent is exciting. There are so many new things in your life that you take in right after each other. In this new stage of life, mothers also experience new emotions. Your hormones change minute by minute, and you are trying to figure out this new life that has joined you in your home. The experience is all too good, but I know there are times when you, as an individual, can also be going through some things mentally. Sometimes, we try to convince ourselves that we feel more comfortable keeping all thoughts to ourselves and prefer to stay home with our new bundle of joy, but we need to remind ourselves that there is still life outside our doors.

Be Honest (Seek Community)

Vulnerability is difficult to communicate with other people, let alone yourself. Vulnerability is where it gets real. I know you had an idea about what / who you wanted to be when becoming a parent. Let alone a parent to more than one kid. The idea is that I will manage to do everything because I see other people do it, and I will take notes on what I will and will not do when I become a parent. Well, everything went differently than planned. You can see that right now in your life, which is okay. You have nothing to prove to anyone. You made up a critique lifestyle that only you are aware of. If you feel a certain way, please be honest with yourself and others about where you are mentally and physically and make a change. This awareness leads me to the community.

It is challenging to be vulnerable to people because we assume that there is judgment right after we express ourselves to them. Let me tell you something because we had already judged ourselves before discussing our problems. It is healthy just to let it out. All emotions and worries you have to God first, then to someone you can confide in that you are internally facing. Heck, even if it is someone new, like a therapist. That is okay. There are so many hormones going in your body, so many body changes happening, and life has changed tremendously for you that it would be unbelievable to hear that there was nothing wrong with you. Be honest for the sake of your health. If you feel like you are going through a postpartum identity crisis, read my letter: Postpartum Identity Crisis.

The Identity Crisis Women Face After Becoming a Mother.

In conclusion, becoming a new parent is exciting. The glamour is publicized everywhere you look about how amazing it is to give birth finally and have that bundle of joy here, yet no one tells you as a momma the physical, mental, and spiritual toll it takes on your body alone. It’s shameful to have the audacity to “complain” when you have done something so unique that others cannot experience it themselves, but let me tell you. Your voice matters! Your body matters! You are valid about what has drastically changed your body and brought such a blessing. Please remember the role you play as a mother who has endured and is enduring such change, and put your mask on before putting on your baby’s mask!

Take care of yourself!