28 Ways to Express Your Love To Your Toddler -

Have you ever questioned if your child feels loved by you after they have been disciplined? Or wondered if you are connecting with your child in ways they feel loved? I am pretty sure you are doing fantastic, Mama, and it is just one of those guilty thoughts that pop up in your head to defeat you in your tracks. Still, if you have trouble finding different ways to love your sweet pea, then I have a little list of helpful suggestions that you can use to express your love to your toddler. As you read the list, please understand that this is not a task-given list that you need to achieve as if it’s a project or test but merely suggestions that you can pray over to obtain naturally and live out without feeling like too much work.

28 Ways to Express Your Love

1. Speak Words of affirmation.

Speaking positive and encouraging words to your children can build their confidence, trust, and identity. Speak God’s truth over your children and watch them light up!

2. Pray with your toddler.

Normalizing prayer in and throughout your day will blossom into a healthy lifestyle that your toddler will not experience life without. In other words, this lifestyle will be like the oxygen they breathe, the food they eat, and the water they drink—just a part of their life that they need. Normalize it, and your toddler will encourage you to continue to pray and will feel comfortable sharing their Spiritual journey with you. {As a SAHM, you will appreciate having a child of God walking around your home singing the purist worship music you secretly needed and randomly speaking life you needed to hear. You may feel alone, but they remind you that you are not alone and can have fellowship with them!}

3. Show your children they are loved for who they are, not by what they do.

Embrace their Masculinity and Femininity even if it’s out of your norm.

(I am such a fragile Mama blessed with three toddler boys who LOVE tackling and playing rough. My husband says they will strengthen me, and I am still waiting for that, but I always tell them about gentle play and how I am a girl who likes it. After realizing they were still acting in nature, wanting to play rough and get dirty, I learned to dig deep into my inner child and join them in their world as a boy Mama. I must still learn the sports aspect, but I am learning them and finding joy in the things they love.) Then there is the opposite with my sister. (My sister has a 3-year-old daughter who is GIRLY, which is the opposite of my sister, and though she had to learn and adjust to the girly side of her life, she managed and loved the special mommy and daughter time they have when getting their nails done and playing dress up.) It may take time, but there is a reason for us having the kids we have. Getting out of our comfort zone and embracing our toddler’s character makes us Mamas grow amazing.

Build them up.

4. Take time to listen.

I know you can grow overwhelmed and impatient in the business of your day, but do not get so caught up that you tune out your toddler and/or begin to overtalk over them with assumptions about what they are trying to tell you.

Give them time to gather their words, speak to you, and listen to where you can converse.

5. Randomly stop what you are doing and hug them. Acknowledge

It is easy to get caught up in household and motherly duties in the house, but through what seems chaos at the time, stop and randomly hug your sweet baby! You both may need it more than you think.

6. Love your husband (spouse).

Loving your husband in front of your children shows them the love displayed between husband and wife. It lets your toddler know that this is what they should give and receive from their spouse when courting and marrying. Normalizing a healthy God-fearing marriage will prepare them to be good husbands and wives with qualities and characteristics that will benefit them and their future spouses. (This should not be a to-do list, but just basic mannerisms and thoughtfulness taught and displayed from your actions towards your toddler and your husband).

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:21-33

7. Start praying for their spouse.

You know that your child will grow up and marry someone one day. Right now, as you pray for their everyday life, do not forget to pray for their future endeavors, which include their spouse. Pray over not just the child of God who will be in one with your child, but pray over their marriage and children, too. Over the generations, God will bring from them on out. No prayer is like a praying parent over their children.

8. Make your child believe you love their presence and want them around.

Enjoy them for who they are with you.

I know that during chores or working from home, having a busy toddler can seem overstimulating even when you are trying to put their busy bodies to rest for naptime, but try inviting your toddler to hang out with you. At the same time, you manage simple work and ask them if they can join you in house chores. Make it known to them that you just love hanging out with them and want them around.

9. Encourage their Spiritual gifts.

Through your relationship with God, your toddler may know more about God than you think. It may not be the maturity of someone walking with God for a decade (which, with the strength and focus on the relationship, will not matter the amount of time), but they will often display certain gifts that can be encouraged through you, Mama. Whether they have the gifts now or not, pray over them and ask God to reveal them to you. Make their Spiritual life a priority even when you are not feeling it at the time. Give them opportunities to display God’s character through compassion, acts, and love.

10. Acknowledge their intelligence & thinking skills.

Children are very creative and see things much differently than adults trained to think and learn one way. Do not take away your toddler’s creativity, intelligence, and thinking skills. Ask them questions and try to see from their perspective. (There will be things you want to broaden for them and things you will want or need to enhance for them in certain circumstances, but allow them to try things out first before correcting them… If it’s really something that pertains to safety, then clearly correct it!)

11. Show them good work ethic skills.

They need to work hard.

It Builds Character.

Peace and Hope
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Romans 5:1-5

They do not merely work for themselves or leaders but for God.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3:23-24

Do not quit Mindset.

“If Jesus finished on the cross, you can finish, too.” I remind myself of this with what God gives me, and I tell my toddlers this when they want to give up on a task. It’s not that they can’t do the task; they just do not want to finish sometimes when they want to do something else.

When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
John 19:30

Show them how to be resourceful.

“If you do all of the thinking for your toddler, you teach them to come to you whenever they face a roadblock. But telling them to go figure it out on their own expresses three truths to them: you won’t always be there, you won’t always have the answer, and you won’t always be available to solve their problems[i].”

Explain why they cannot take the easy way out and do things halfway.

Speak life in which you are confident in their future endeavors.

Mama, they are capable; let them do it!

12. Don’t give your toddler Impossible demands.

“Ask yourself this: Is this reasonable? Could I do this at this age? Am I putting too much pressure on him for where he’s really at developmentally” (Jacobson)

13. Give them a vision of who God created them to be and who they are becoming.

14. Teach your toddler the importance of Honoring their parents.

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
Exodus 20:12

15. Teach your toddler the importance of good stewardship.

Teaching your toddler to be mindful of what they are blessed with and to take care of such blessings is teaching good stewardship that God calls us to do. Remind them that even if the blessing does not seem to serve them but others, they should still respect other people’s blessings. “What is given can be taken away,” and “Your daddy works hard when he is away, so we have the things we have. God gives him strength, rest, energy, and good health to work for this, and he wishes to be here with you, so please be good to what God blesses us with even though your daddy is working,” is what I often tell my toddlers.

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.
1 Peter 4:10

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
Galatians 6:9-10

16. Answer their questions.

- A toddler can ask MANY questions, as you know, but be patient and kind when answering them. Toddlers genuinely ask questions because they are living in this world for the first time and are learning all of the new things that are everywhere around them. It can seem overstimulating to them to navigate the unknown, which I know you are familiar with, so with the same patience you have for others, kindly show that same patience with them and answer their questions.

- (P.S If you do not know the answer to a question, take the time to find the answer and give them a response.)

17. Respect.

Respecting your toddler is simply showing manners, respecting their personal space when needed (not forcing unwanted kisses and hugs from anyone), and respecting their discernment and thought process. As you show respect, respect can be returned because they learned by example. Through both you and Toddler giving and receiving respect from each other, explain to them how they should respect themselves as well. This can be loving and caring for their bodies, which God lives in, and being kind to themselves when they seem troubled or frustrated from being unable to do something right.

18. Do not overreact when your child does something wrong.

How you react to your toddler when something goes wrong can be heavily impactful in the long run. How you react brings emotions and, depending on the reaction, can quite often create trauma (in extreme cases). Just remember that your toddler is learning from you, so if you react with shouting, then chances are you have not only made your toddler possibly scared and emotional at the time, but you have also made your toddler learn that in times when something goes wrong then it is okay for them to shout too. So, breathe in and out and control your emotions first, then go to your toddler and talk to them about how upset you are, but ultimately show forgiveness in the end.

Show grace. (The same grace that you wished you received when you were younger or, in general, show them how you wished you were treated in response to your actions.)

Do not provoke your child to be angry.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4

19. Make them feel safe.

- Comfort them when they need you.

- “I will always protect you.”

- Remember that your Toddler may act fearless and tough, but a soft heart is still underneath the surface. There is an old saying, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” (Unknown). “When you forget they have a soft heart, their hard exterior may grow and prevent your access to how they are feeling. Your toddler must do this to protect themselves” (Jacobson)

20. Help them have a compassionate heart.

The best way to show compassion is by modeling the behavior first. Small acts of kindness go a long way, from helping someone in need, giving food or compliments, to holding a door with assistance or gestures that your toddler can learn with you. Other ways to teach compassion would be by:

Teach your toddler positive inclusive through diversity.

Create a Supportive and loving environment.

Teach effective communication, which includes practicing active listening (ask questions and have them repeat what you said back.), Practice talking about feelings and naming the emotions one could feel in the moment. {ex: How do you think they feel? Which option would your daddy like? Why do you think they would like it?}

Teach Gratitude.
- Writing thank-you cards
- Sharing what you are grateful for during lunch or dinner.

Reading themed books based on compassion.

Community Involvement with volunteering.
- Gather toys and clothes for donations
- Clean the park or beach

But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
Psalm 86:15
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Colossians 3:12

21. Teach your toddler to have confidence in themselves and what they truly believe.

- Your toddler will face a world that displays many belief systems, and it’s crucial to establish your child in the way they should go so they do not depart from the Word of Truth. For them to have beliefs, they need to know that through the works of God and you as a parent, you are helping them with guidance. Teach your toddler and children that the world will try to discourage them with their belief system but encourage them that God is in them and what they truly believe is their identity that cannot be taken from them. Encourage them that it is okay to stand out from the world because God made them stand apart in the first place.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:12-17

22. Permit them to take risks.

It can be challenging to see your child play sports and take on dangerous new adventures, but even if your child develops a fear from your fears or themselves, and you know they can succeed, encourage them to try and take risks. Let our concerns not hinder them, but let them teach us, Mama, how to trust God and be supportive of what God is developing and doing in your child.

23. Invite your toddler into your world.

Inclusion

Take the stress off your days and implement things you like to do with your toddler. It may take a different process and some time and patience, but the two of you working together to figure out things while enjoying each other will be worth it!

Show them who you are

Have you ever gotten so caught up in raising your children that you noticed a stranger looking at you back when you looked at yourself? Or after a difficult half-day with your toddler, you finally put them down for a nap and question if your toddler will only know the parent side of you and not the real you before kids.

I believe life does not stop when you have children; it just improves! You have a new crew that can be a part of your life and join in on your hobbies. If you love reading and painting, create art days and implement reading time to share these moments. If you love to go hiking and swimming, make it a whole family day to hike, and if your Mama wants to take those few laps at the pool, have your husband or family member watch the kids while they cheer you on taking your lap in the pool.

24. Teach your children to protect themselves.

- Sexual predators: Teach your children that their bodies are sacred. Let them know that if they ever feel uncomfortable with anyone or a situation, they need to feel comfortable speaking to you about it. Tell them there are NO SECRETS between Mama, Daddy, & Child.

- Bullies: Tell your toddler that if they have a problem with someone, they need to talk to an adult immediately and talk to Mommy and Daddy. Explain that “some kids do not know the love of Jesus and just need someone like you to pray for them and love on them with forgiveness, just as Jesus forgives us daily.” If a toddler continues to pick on your child and get physical, then of course, Mama, you need to get involved with the school and parents. Still, for your toddler at this very moment, I would suggest you tell them to instead run to an adult immediately to get out of the situation or defend themselves safely. (There are many ways to protect yourself, but how you teach self-defense and protocols is up to your household.) Be sure to explain to your toddler that no matter how others treat them, their love and kindness through it all will, without changing to their bully’s level, be rewarded by God, and try to teach them why it’s never okay to be a bully.

25. Surround your toddler with good role models.

Have you ever heard of “birds of a feather flock together?” I was told that growing up many times. My parents made sure to keep us from people whose lifestyles were not fruitful to linger around too much and made sure that they had peers who were wholesome, well-rounded people that a few I still look up to. They may have had friends who needed to be told the Gospel and prayed for, but they loved on them in their own time without my sisters and I being involved. It might be the same for you, Mama. You may have a friend group you grew up with that you can nonnegotiably depart from, which is okay. We don’t want to get rid of our friends when we have kids unless God makes it straightforward to do so, but what I am saying is to make sure that you establish healthy relationships with people from the community, church, or friend group and allow your toddler to be around healthy role-models that can uplift your child and encourage them to do right. A role model that can speak life and help guide them in the right direction. Just as we, Mama, need mentoring from the church, so do our children.

26. Do not make your child feel like a burden.

- Basic needs of maintaining a clean house, preparing food, managing doctor visits, and hygienic routines are just a few listed that you, mama, put work into every day. Though the routine can feel overbearing after cooking four times a day, wiping the table and chairs down four times, as well as washing dishes and cleaning up toys throughout the day, never let your burnout make your child feel like it was a burden for you taking care of their needs. Pray and ask God to bring joy through those moments. When transitioning from one thing to another and feeling frustrated, tired, and possibly overwhelmed, find a self-care regimen you can do with your toddler to give you both a break to calm down and breathe. Rather than just stopping in your tracks to hold your toddler with a big hug or having outside time to work out with them or read a book while they play, find what works best for you to return to reality. Then tell your sweet one how blessed you are to have them to care for in your life. Tell them how having a house to clean and food to cook is a blessing for which you are thankful. Come back to your center of God’s goodness in this process.

27. Model Christ-like behaviors.

Your child will look up to you and think highly of who you are.
“Our first conception of what God is like comes from our experience with our parents. So, teach your son what the bible says about God and what God thinks of him based on what the bible says.” (Jacobson)

28. You are their parent, not their friend.

You are here to be a moral compass and Spiritually guide your children so they may know God and have a relationship with Him. Through guidance from the Holy Spirit, your goal is to raise your child so that when they get to Heaven, God can welcome them in knowing their name and who they are. It can be challenging and sometimes seems easier to be their friend, but they will make many friends growing up. They need a parent who teaches, protects, Prays, and shows them a way of life worth living. These children you are raising will coexist with other people, so let’s raise them to be the children of God who can respectfully be themselves in this world. Parent them!

There are many ways to love your toddler, and I hope you found this worth the read, but let me remind you that your toddler is not a project; they are still a person. Please do not try to make this a task list of things you need to complete in a day to show your toddler that you love them because it will become exhausting for you trying to apply each suggestion listed. Pray to God that you can read over this and use it once a day naturally or that your mind will remember what you have read here to apply throughout your day when needed with your toddler.

Shalom Mama!

Resources

[1]

Jacobson, M., & Jacobson, L. (2020). 100 ways to love your son: The simple, powerful path to a close and lasting relationship. Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.