11 Ways To Love Yourself That Is Pleasing To God.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.”
Mark 12:30-31
People agree that many are bitter, tired, or broken from emptiness. Such pain has altered people’s morals and views on other civilians that they walk life with daily, without an ounce of trust or love for each other. When you have been the victim of such trauma from broken memories that were placed in your heart, it can allow bitterness and a wall to form, shielding away the soft spot where an abundance of love took place. Physically, you can see and feel how stressful the body can be and look without those natural hormones releasing what is trying to be present: love. Because God is love, it is vital to grow love in your heart for many reasons, but today, my main reason for finding love is, first, for yourself. You need it!
Finding a healthy way to love yourself without sin from conceit and selfishness can be challenging, but loving yourself respectfully as God loves you is possible. Here is a list of ways to learn to love yourself Godly without falling into the cracks of “lovers of yourself.”
1. Steadfast in Prayer and your Word
Without God’s Word, living a whole and enriched life is impossible. You become close to God’s heart when steadfast in reading and praying. When you are close to His heart, you have such an outlook on a life worth living when walking in His Spirit, which is provided throughout your relationship with Him. The Spirit of God will open your mind, body, and soul to the truth and set you free, knowing such wisdom from Love Himself. In this journey of reading to know Him and praying to keep your relationship strong and help you grow; you will see that your life is rewarded and comforted with Him. When you have a relationship with God first, His love will show, and you will adequately learn to love yourself through His love so that you can love others properly as well.
Prayer and God’s Word bring:
- Discernment.
- Self-awareness is what God wants you to be aware of.
- Respect for your soul and the vessel that God provided you with.
- A love for yourself that you want to be a good steward of a precious life that cannot be sustained without the Spirit of God.
“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. “
Colossians 4:2
“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”
Ephesians 6:18
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing
and perfect will.”
Romans 12:2
“The one who gets wisdom loves life;
the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.”
Proverbs 19:8
2. Self-Identity
Sister, I can not express this enough. Knowing your identity in Christ is one of the biggest challenges you will face repeatedly. The world will try to tempt you beyond your limits, and your character may seem shaken or tampered with in your decisions regarding each outcome.
Know who you are and stand firm with who you are so that the world does not overcome you. You can combat the false reality that the world exemplifies to Spiritual reality because you believe in God and His Word of truth about life and who you are. You will never be moved when you are steadfast in your relationship with God and claim with your mouth by speaking life on who you are.
“Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God,
To God’s holy people in Ephesus, the faithful in Christ Jesus:
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Praise for Spiritual Blessings in Christ
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love hepredestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will-to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding,he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.
In him we were also chosen, having been predestinedaccording to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:1-11
You are: (Forgiven, Redeemed, Chosen, Adopted, Holy. Loved, Blessed)
3. Speak life
The only way to speak life to yourself is by reading your Word, re-establishing God’s truth over your life, and then proclaiming God’s truth in every season and trial in your life. Even if you are not facing anything currently, remain steadfast, knees deep in your Word so that you can always be prepared with the Armor of God when the enemy tries to deceive you. Remember, the enemy will try to attack your mind first to bring confusion and false words out of your mouth that can feed you and others around you. Do not be moved. Be always on guard and ready to combat any warfare with God’s truth.
“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.”
Proverbs 12:25
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Ephesians 4:29
“Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger, “My vow was a mistake.” Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands?”
Ecclesiastes 5:6
“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord;
keep watch over the door of my lips.”Psalm 141:3
For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from eviland their lips from deceitful speech.”
1 Peter 3:10
The Armor of God
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”
Ephesians 6:10-18
4. Stay positive
As a Christian, you must know that the life picture painted does not always have rainbows and butterflies. I always like to tell people,
“If Jesus, God’s Son, endured hardship, persecution, and death that was not at his expense, who are we to expect life any different from him?”
My viewpoint observing American life, it is nearly impossible to say that life should not be complicated or that you should not have to deal with anything that brings you out of your comfort zone due to the American dream motto, “the pursuit of happiness,” that has been represented and exemplified for us citizens to obtain. Anytime life situations look complicated, they are talked about and immediately confronted by the person dealing with such conditions that if the current job, spouse, church, or people are not serving them happiness, they must get rid of it. It is known that this generation is known as the “throw-away” generation because we don’t obtain real value in anything and always want new things. But my fellow sister in Christ, do not be caught up with the throwaway generation where everything must be beautiful, new, and serving you. Know that there are times when life will not look pleasing to your liking. You will face things that will hopefully change you for the good, and life may seem like it’s doing too much that you cannot handle anymore. I am not speaking this on you, but God has mentioned throughout the bible the trials that we will face, but in those trials and hardships, look up with gratitude. Praise God that you are not alone, and don’t focus on the problem but see it through. You know that God is good no matter what and that you will keep going, knowing God has the final say. There is nothing new under the sun because He has seen everything. Stay positive even when you feel targeted and cannot get a break. Keep going!
Living as Those Made Alive in Christ
“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.”
Colossians 3:1-3
5. Motivate
When you are full of positivity, continue motivating yourself to keep going. I know that you may want an accountability buddy to help you stay motivated through the inevitable challenges you endure, but be sure to hold your head up and be there for yourself when no one is around. If you can, motivate others, too!
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
James 1:2-4
6. Be Kind
The worst critique that you could ever face is yourself. You know almost everything about yourself and can have the best and the worst memories of your life decisions. Because of your choices, especially if people remind you of the bad choices you have made in your life, or even just the negative comments made about you, what sticks in your mind from that one comment or decision can stick in your mind forever. The weight of pain from scars that were not healed can cause you to be hard on yourself, but let me tell you, sister. This world can be cruel. Why join the world and be cruel towards yourself? Don’t you think that you deserve a break from other people? Be kind to yourself. That inner child in you who was hurt or the woman who is still God’s little girl needs you to be kind to her. You need to take care of her and ease up! If you can show kindness to others, then show that kindness towards yourself.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
“A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself.”
Proverbs 11:17
7. Enjoy moments
You only get one life, so why waste it? Do not settle into your emotions in every moment, leaving you in a dark place. Embrace joy as if it were your best friend. I love the heck out of life because, honestly, life is good. You may not have the life or moments you always dreamed of having, but you have everything you need, which is blessed. Praise God for that alone!
“You who are young, be happy while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things, God will bring you into judgment.”
Ecclesiastes 11:9
8. Know the difference between wants and needs
As I have mentioned, you can love yourself by seeing that the God in you has provided everything you need. Sometimes, you can have wants that are not glorifying God or that cannot be as beneficial as you think that want will be. Sometimes, it is for your good when you do not get everything you want. Look back at many crushes that you swore up and down were the ones you wanted, all to find out that they were far from what you needed. Or those job positions you applied for with prayers, hoping you will get the role, all to have a better opportunity for you elsewhere. You must believe that God knows what He is doing. Believe and praise Him that you have everything that you need. For the wants, ask God if those desires are from you or Him. He will put desires in you, and they will come to pass. Love what you have. Trust and believe and praise Him!
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.”
Psalm 23:1
“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:19
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
Psalm 37:4
9. Love where you are
Have you heard of the phrase “Keeping up with the Johnsons?” It is a phrase used when someone admires someone else’s life and tries to keep up with what “the Johnsons” have. New house, new car, the “image” of a perfect life while maintaining the up-to-date trend. In keeping up with the Johnsons, people tend to struggle to try and accomplish and sustain what the world says they must have, not realizing that the movies, social media clips, and pictures are all edited and photoshopped of lies. Don’t get me wrong, some things are genuine and unique moments captured, but please do not let what you see around you devalue your experiences and the season where God has you. Do not compare yourself to others at the cost of walking away from your destiny and chasing these worldly lifestyles that will perish. Find joy in your season. Love where God has you because you know that it is perfect because his timing is perfect. You do not need to compare yourself to anyone and anything, but if you can’t help that trait right now, try to compare yourself to something beautiful, such as Jesus.
For those seasons that seem long through pain, grievance, and questioning, remember that there is a time and season for everything, and this season shall pass. Just try to see your current state and spiritual growth, especially in your relationship with God.
“Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.”
1 Corinthians 7:17
“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.”
Galatians 6:4-5
A Time for Everything
“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:”
Ecclesiastes 3:1
“Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.”
Psalm 37:3-7
10. Know your worth
You were created for God, in His image. Never allow someone or a situation in your life to have you question your existence. You were maybe let go from your job, broken up by your ex-husband or boyfriend, or defriended by an old close friend; never allow their views of you to alter the truth of who God says you are. You are created with a purpose and part of God’s plan. Know your worth because he made you for His Kingdom works and will, which has placed a high value on your life. So much so that His Son, Jesus, has given his life up for you, saying that you were worth it. Do not forget that!
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”
Matthew 10:29-31
“everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.”
Isaiah 43:7
“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
Genesis 1:27
11. Hygienic care
Ladies, as you may already know and can attest, there is something about caring for yourself hygienically that can make you feel like a woman. There is freedom in taking time for yourself that you will have to manage. I know that time and busy schedules can have you put your care on the back burner but try to apply one of the options listed below or options of your choosing once a week so that you can relax and feel taken care of.
- PH balance
- Hot bath
- Eat clean
- Nails & Hair
- Epsom salt bath & Oil down body
- Dental care
“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
In the end, love is something that you cannot escape. If you have been hurt by someone from actions not made in love, or you created insecurities from trauma and find it difficult to love yourself and others. Try to believe with your whole heart what love is and means. God is love, and anything you receive from anyone that has made you question your ability to accept or give that love back must end today. Today is the day you choose healing, and you grow to love yourself respectfully as a child of God. I pray that what I have listed above will bring you peace and clarity. And when you realize real love, I pray that you find forgiveness for the lost people around you, not knowing the truth. So with God, your Father’s love that He has established for you, receive that love so that you can love yourself respectfully and love others properly according to God’s will.
“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,”
2 Timothy 3:1-2
Scriptures
“ Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many. Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.”
1 Corinthians 12:14-20
“Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God”
John 1:12
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus”
Philippians 2:3-5
“For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.”
Romans 6:6-7
“ That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
Ephesians 4:20-24
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Galatians 6:9
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7
“ Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”
1 Corinthians 15:58
“The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.”
Psalm 37:23-24
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
Psalm 51:10
“We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.”
2 Corinthians 10:12
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Romans 12:2
“ Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky”
Philippians 2:14-15
“give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:18
A Time for Everything
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him. Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account.
Ecclesiastes 3:3-15
“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.”Psalm 28:7
